


Something Boy

by SummoningMutations



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood, Carla's sick, Eventual relationship, Fluff, Grisha's not a dick, He's Just Misunderstood, Kinda, M/M, Paranormal, Slow Build, Slurs, Telekinesis, Tourette's Syndrome, Violence, ereri, ooc mikasa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8970256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SummoningMutations/pseuds/SummoningMutations
Summary: There are some things that you just don't talk about. Some things that aren't meant to be listened to, are not meant to be seen, are not meant to be understood. That's why they fit together so perfectly, like puzzle pieces. They were not meant to be seen or heard or understood. They were not meant to be talked about. Eren and his impossible ability to bend and break things with just his mind alone. Levi and his ability to bend and break just Eren with his words. We're going to talk about them anyways.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was something I started writing a while ago in creative writing, and just never touched it again because of NaNoWriMo. So I just returned to it because I needed a break from some of my other stories. This was just here and ready to be typed. Also this story is shamelessly inspired by Carrie (the book) and I got so excited writing this you have no idea. 
> 
> So without further ado welcome to 
> 
> Something Boy

From ‘ _ My Name is Ackerman’  _ pg. 28

 

“No one really liked to talk about it, their relationship. It was a little like looking out of your window and seeing the national guard lined up and about to pull the trigger, when in reality, it was just the two of them walking to school. Sometimes they’d be holding hands, other times they’d be slightly turned away from each other with hostility permeating the air, leftover from an argument that was long forgotten, only the anger left over. But that never mattered in the end. They always walked together on the sidewalk that was too small for the both of them. They always stood side-by-side as partners, as equals. 

I get a lot of questions about them, especially after that day. And I don’t know how to answer any of them because even now, years later, I still don’t talk about them. I don’t acknowledge that they were ever together, even though they’re weaved so tightly in my memory. We don’t like to talk about them, even less so now that it’s been many years since that day. The day that will be forever engrained into my mind. Because even then, they were together. When the whole world was crashing down around them, they still sought out one another’s hands, still seeked for the other’s touch, still lingered with their stares and talked without words. They were never apart. I’m sad to say that I wasn’t there for either of them. They were my family, both of them, and I wasn’t there. I blame myself everyday for what happened even though I know that there was nothing I could’ve done to prevent it. My adoptive brother, Eren, and my biological cousin, Levi, fell in love, went through hell, came back only to be shoved underneath the flames of the devil himself once again. How would anyone like to talk about that? 

But what happened that night cannot be explained through grief or regret. If you’re reading my story for an explanation to what happened, then I’m sorry. I cannot provide an answer. I was only there to bear witness to the impossibilities of what unfolded during the last football game of the season. I have no answers to your questions because, as I’ve said countless times, we don’t like to talk about them.” 

  
  


The air liked to nibble at Eren’s nose, liked to crawl into his chest and turn his heart into a popsicle. Liked to weave through his hair and make everything in him, about him, cold to the touch. The worst thing about it was that he was powerless to stop it. No matter how many layers he bundled himself in, he could never keep the chill from finding homage in his bones.

Even so, during these cold months, he refused to ride the bus to school. Despite popular belief, he’d take the grouchy cold and nippy winds over the hushed voices and unrelenting stares that his peers threw over their shoulders. The cold was nicer, less judgemental. It didn’t care who he was, what he liked or disliked, what he’d done in the past. It made him shiver and shake all the same. 

So he walked to school every morning, a scarf wrapped around his neck, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie, and the breeze of a cold winter finding it’s way under his beanie. During these walks to and from school, he liked to think, let his mind wander to different places where he wished he could be. He let his feet carry him on their own, mapping out the way, carrying him, not to the places he wished he could be, but to the place that was his own living nightmare. His body betraying his mind while simultaneously obeying him. He didn’t think about a lot. Usually, he’d fantasize about a world that accepted him, that loved him, reached for him with open arms. He’d fantasize about being on the football team with a whole bunch of friends that joked with him and laughed with him. He’d think about taking Annie Leonhardt to the prom just to say that he did. He didn’t actually have to the remotest hints of attractions toward her, but everyone else seemed to be completely in love with her. And if he took her to the prom, he could leech some of that love away. 

It was pathetic, in a sense, how he so desperately craved the affection of another. Being homeschooled his whole life up until high school was a big way to stand out, especially if your father was thrown in jail last year for fraud and your mother is so sick that she can barely make it out of the house to get the mail. High school was a maze on fire to him, peeking around every corner looking for a way out only to suffocate on smoke anyway. This was his second year in public school, and he’d be lying if he said he’d prefer it over the firey maze. 

The high school was coming into his line of sight as he rounded the last corner. He usually got there thirty minutes before the first bell, so he could seek sanctuary in homeroom before any of his tormentors could get to him. Usually this worked. He’d get into the school before the buses arrived. He’d find a reason to stay after class, whether for tutoring or talking with a teacher until the busses left, and then he wouldn’t have to see the faces of his bullies. Usually this strategy works wonders, leaving the only opportunities to strike being during lunch and P.E. class. Even then, Eren’s gotten so good at avoiding conflict that he barely has to deal with them during those times. His strategy may or may not have included eating in the toilets three times a week, but that’s beside the point.

He didn’t know when the bullying started or why. It had to be during his freshman year when the whole of Shiganshina watched as his dad was loaded into a police car. A couple days before that, his mom was airlifted to Trost Medical. It didn’t take long for the rumors to circulate, calling his father a wife beater, an abuser, calling it a modern tragedy and a beautiful opportunity to gossip about their fifteen-year-old son to the neighbors, to their hair stylists they visited every week, to their children.  _ What type of person is he? You know what they say… the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  _

And that’s how Eren attracted so many outlandish insults, calling him out on his father’s bullshit, even though his father was a kind man. He just made bad choices, and no matter how many times Eren screamed that until his voice went raw, no one would listen. The story of the mind is far more interesting than the truth. He only had fond memories of his father, reading him bedtime stories, cooking dinner for his sick mother, never laying a hand on her unless it was to tilt her chin up to give her a kiss. His father loved him and his mother, and he knew that. But a year of hearing nothing but unbacked rumors, even he was starting to have trouble deciphering what was real and what wasn’t anymore. 

Then the whispers had started up around him, barely noticeable at first, growing louder with each rise and fall of the sun.  _ “Can he even feel anything? He walks around with the same expression. Does he not care? What a monster.”  _ Eren had tried to ignore it, but then things got physical. A group of students waiting outside for him. Punches thrown, teeth clattering on the pavement, blood dripping from wounds he did not want. Fists bruised and hair ripped from his scalp. And he always picked himself up, limping home with only one word in his mind.  _ Why?  _ He doesn’t know what he’s asking about. Why did they do this to him? Why does he even bother to pick himself up? Why are they right? 

Eren didn’t want to admit it to himself, but they were  _ right.  _ After a while, he learned to distance himself from the situation, separate his body from his mind. He learned to look at the situation objectively and dispassionately. He learned to not care what other people thought of him and his family. He learned not to care that his mother was dying and his father was rotting away in prison. He learned that the only way to survive was to disassociate himself from himself. Two parts of a whole, he’d go between physical and mental, wandering back and forth whenever it suited him. 

Approaching the school, he did not care about his physical self, choosing to hide inside the depths of his mind instead, trusting his feet to carry him into home room. He was all set to face the day in his head, using his body only when he needed to. He’d brought a book along with him so he wouldn’t have to talk to people, so he could pretend to be reading. But that’s all the book was, a pretence. In reality, he would continue to think and fantasize and pretend, all the while casually and periodically flipping a page. 

He arrived at the front doors of the school a little too early, though. The doors weren’t even open, which meant he’d gotten here before any of the teachers. It wouldn’t be the first time this happened. He spends so much time in his head that he doesn’t pay attention to things as miniscule as time. He wakes up when he wants and goes through his morning routine and sometimes he’d be super early to school, right on time, or wouldn’t show up until the last lunch bell had rung. It all depended on what time he woke up. 

He sat down on a bench outside of the doors and pulled out his book - he didn’t even know what it was called - and estimated that the time of the day was nearing seven o’clock in the morning. He’d have thirty minutes to wait depending on the teachers, but that didn’t hurt his feelings one bit. It was the same as always for him, and time passed differently. Minutes could take hours or seconds, it all depended on his state of mind that day. 

Today, he was feeling exceptionally empty. Hollowness seeking to destroy his insides and replace it with it’s nothingness. It should make the day go by faster, make his mind sharper and his body quicker to go through the motions of the day. When he had nothing left to think about, that’s when the day went by slowly, dragging on and on until Eren thought he would collapse with boredom. 

Today, he had plenty to think about. With his mother sick at home, coughing up a lung, Eren had plenty to daydream about. About a world where his mother was healthy, where the sun was shining as he played football in the backyard with his father. About a world where his mother was cooking, and the smell would waft out of the backdoor and dance across the lawn into his nose. He could daydream about sitting down at the table, ready to dig in, and his mother would yell at him to wash his hands first; his dad ruffling his hair as he went. He’d daydream about his adoptive sister Mikasa coming out of her room to sit down and have dinner with them. He never really sees her anymore with her choosing to stay in her room and talk to her friends on the landline, twirling the cord around her finger. They used to be so close, and now, not so much. 

He had plenty to think about today, and that was always a good sign, a retreat that wouldn’t leave him alone, not today at least. He flipped a page in his book.

He didn’t even notice a sleek, black car pull into the school parking lot. Then again, there was a lot that escaped his notice. He didn’t notice the unrecognizable boy that jumped out of the passenger seat. Then again, there was a lot of faces he didn’t recognize. He didn’t notice the way he held a slip of paper in his right hand and a slight twitch. 

He was only snapped from his thoughts when the boy was standing right in front of him, peering down at the book he was not actually reading. Only then did Eren realize that he wasn’t alone. At first, hints of fear started to creep into his head. Had one of his tormentors gone through the lengths of getting here early just to pummel him? Swallowing, he finally had the courage to meet the stranger’s eyes. They were not the eyes of a bully. 

They were cold and grey, just like the wind nipping at Eren’s ears and settling in his stomach. They were the cloudy sky, getting ready to release rain from the heavens in the majestic way that Eren loved. They reminded him of the sound a car made when it hit the brakes to hard. What was it called? Screeching of tires, yes that’s it. The boy’s eyes were the sound of screeching tires. His hair was black, almost as black a starless night, but the way the sun reflected off of it made Eren think better. His cheekbones and nose were sharp and his eyebrows curved upward, making it seem like he was perpetually asking a question and waiting for the answer. 

Eren didn’t have any answer. He didn’t know him, had never seen him around school which wasn’t a big feat for the sophomore. The boy’s stomach twitched, muscles contracting underneath the stainless white shirt he had on. He shifted his weight to the other foot. He didn’t say anything, eyebrows furrowing as he just looked at the book in Eren’s hands. 

At a loss, Eren didn’t know what to do. His repertoire for human interaction was small and unimportant. He’d brought the book along so he wouldn’t have to talk to someone, but now it seems it would be a conversation starter. 

“Hello.” Eren’s voice was rough with disuse, and he doesn’t remember the last time he’d spoken out loud. It had to have been last night, when he’d asked his mother if she wanted any of the soup he’d made. Or maybe he’d just handed her a bowl with a question in his eyes. Eren didn’t like to talk much, that’s obvious. 

“Hello… hello…” His voice… Jesus Christ, that voice. It was rough and low, and Eren’s sure his eyes widened comically, although he’s not quite sure because he’s so focused on the way the boy’s mouth forms the greeting twice instead of just once.

“Can I help you?” Eren closed the book, scooting over on the bench in a silent invitation to sit down. 

The boy say beside him, willingly and without hesitation, and that’s when it clicked for Eren that he was new. A clean slate that Eren knew he didn’t want to marr, but he couldn’t stop the boy from taking a spot on the bench because that’s just fucking rude. 

A couple of moments went by where the boy just sat beside him, breathing calmly. His fingers were entwined in his lap, and his head kept straight, not looking at Eren, or his book anymore. Eren’s eyes were drawn back to his face, and he could see his nose scrunching up and his eyes squeezing shut. Only for a second. And then he was back to a blank stare. Only to do it again a couple seconds later. 

“I like that book.” The boy’s hands unraveled to point to the book he was holding. Only then did Eren read the cover.  _ The Outsiders  _ was printed in big, bold letters, and Eren realized that he’d read this book several years ago in seventh grade. He didn’t even remember what happened in it, only that a lot of the girls cried when they reached the end. 

“No spoilers,” was the instant response out of Eren’s mouth, and it pulled a twinkling sound out of the other boy. He was laughing. 

“Alright, deal.” The boy’s neck twitched then, his head snapping to the side almost impossibly fast. The boy’s head snapped back in place just as quickly, head whipping to Eren, eyes wide and a flush painting his cheeks. 

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed, confusion etched across his face plain as day, but he didn’t say anything. He could tell the boy was embarrassed, and although Eren was frustratingly confused, he let it go because what else could he do? 

“I’m Eren.” Eren would’ve held out his hand for the other boy to shake, but he thought better of it, opting to open the book again, from the beginning this time. He’d actually read some of the words before the other boy’s voice broke his concentration. 

“I’m Levi… Levi.” 

“It’s nice to meet you Levi Levi,” Eren mumbled, almost sardonically, but not quite achieving the level of cynicalness needed to come across that way. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Levi flush even more, and he couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or embarrassment. Eren knew one thing: he didn’t have to be embarrassed in front of him because Eren didn’t really care. 

“Just Levi. Only one.” Eren broke his gaze away from the page and offered a smile to the twitching boy beside him.  _ Levi.  _ That was a nice name, he thought. Levi returned the smile, and Eren was left to wonder what the feeling inside him was. Instead of feeling hollow inside, like he had just a couple minutes ago, he felt almost warm. Friendship was a word that wouldn’t fit in yet, but he could feel it growing his chest, blooming up into his cheeks. When was the last time he had a friend? But Eren was way ahead of himself. He’d barely shared a dozen words with the boy beside him and already he was starting to feel hope run up his spine. 

Once Levi realized what he was,  _ who  _ he was, he’d want nothing to do with him, opting to find new, more important friends, that would happily give away all of Eren’s false secrets. Levi wouldn’t even remember this morning on a bench an hour before school started. He’d repress the memories until he’d convinced himself they were somehow a dream. Eren only had a handful of minutes before he knew he’d lose an opportunity to actually have a conversation with someone that knew nothing about him. Someone who was clean of gossip and judgement. He had to take this chance, no matter how small the window may be. 

“You’re new here, right? First day?”

“Yes,” Levi answered, his mouth forming a tight line as he tried not to squish up his face again. 

“I could show you around school if you want.” 

Peering beside him on the bench, Levi looked back at Eren and gave him another smile. “Thanks.” 

“You know school doesn’t start for another thirty minutes right?” 

“I’m aware. ‘If you’re on time, you’re late.’ That’s what my mother always says.” Levi’s voice took on a bored tone, as if he was almost complaining about it. Eren wanted to snap at him, tell him to be grateful for a mother who was there for him, but guilt held him back. His mother would be there for him if she wasn’t bedridden, if she could stand. 

“Punctuality is a nice trait to have, wouldn’t you say?” Eren tilted his gaze down toward the book. 

“Mhmm,” Levi hummed in agreement, inching a little closer to Eren’s side so he could also gaze down at the story in his hands. And that’s where they stayed until the bell rung. Levi reading over Eren’s shoulder, tapping him on the shoulder when he was done with the page. Eren watched his tormentor’s walk by without saying a word. Eren felt Levi twitch in his side, moving away for seconds at a time to regain his composure. 

Still, Eren didn’t ask. He was just thankful that the chills settling in him, that had gotten under his nails, had finally been put to rest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then a month passes

There wasn’t an ounce of doubt in Eren’s mind when he looked at the slip of paper in Levi’s hand, his schedule. He was completely and utterly screwed. Levi had almost every single class that he did, save for French. Apparently, Levi had a study hall during that time. When Eren first realized he was screwed, they were on their way to their first class. He wouldn’t be able to be in his head all the time now. Maintaining a relationship with someone, however small and irrelevant, took a fuck ton of effort. Effort that Eren didn’t think he had. That’s why he’d been alone for so many years. He couldn’t find it in himself to be reliable.

But Levi… He felt that Levi was different. Where he didn’t make any effort to contribute to a conversation, Levi was there also, content in silence. He’d found that out that morning on the bench, sitting there, silently, just reading. Together, though they were, they knew the other didn’t want to talk, and that was okay with the other. Talking was just another form of communication, and they got by just fine without it. Levi was most certainly different. 

They’d gone through a month in each other’s presence, pressed against each other in the crowded hallway, listening to the conversations bustling around them, but they never said a word to one another. Communicating through raised eyebrows and taps to the shoulders. They weren’t completely silent. They’d make jokes, laugh at the other one when they tripped, sometimes they’d sit on the bench outside the school and take turns reading  _ The Outsiders  _ out loud. Mostly it was Eren who read because when Levi sat still long enough, he’d start to tic, head shaking around, messing up his hair, and it’s awfully distracting for him when Levi’s trying to read. 

And that month was one of the best months Eren’s had in the past two years. People still stared, whispered behind his back, but no one approached him. No one took their anger out on his face. It was only when Levi missed school one monday, did Eren realize how lonely he was without him. It had only been a month, but Eren was touch starved, attention starved, and you don’t realize how used to it you’ve become until after it’s taken away from you. 

That monday was one of the  _ worst  _ days for Eren. He’d waited outside the school for an hour, waiting for Levi to show up. He’d waited up until the buses had come and gone, dropping off students to gawk and stare at the now sulking Eren. In a way, Eren had started to look at Levi like a shield. If he was by his side, then no one dared approach Eren. Maybe it was because Levi was new, but Eren had a sneaking suspicion that it was because of his tics. Where Eren had come to think of it as,  _ that’s just an essential part of who he is,  _ other’s thought otherwise. Eren had started to hear the rumors almost instantly, about three days after Levi had come. He heard them during English. 

Levi and him had just come from lunch, and Levi had downed a can of Pepsi. Eren already knew what would happen, had warned him against it even. But Levi didn’t care what others thought of him, he just wanted to drink the damn Pepsi. 

Caffein only made his tics worse. By the end of the period, Levi was twitching so sporadically in his desk, that it had actually moved a couple of inches to the left. Eren just rolled his eyes, muttering an, “I told you so,” under his breath. 

And that’s when he heard it. The first tell-tale signs of a rumor spreading. It started with hushed voices, eyes glancing at the two of them but not staring. The rumor about Levi was so absurd that Eren had to laugh. It was just like high schoolers to come up with this type of bullshit. 

“He’s possessed by the  _ devil _ …” 

Levi didn’t understand why Eren was laughing, but he didn’t ask. 

Now, Eren finds himself in the front of the school that monday, alone, with no Levi beside him, protecting him a way Eren hadn’t realized until he was gone. He just stood in front of the school, staring at the road when the first bell rung, telling him that he should head to class. 

Eren sighed, turning around to go inside the school, preparing to face a day in his head. Something he hadn’t had to do in a month. He realized how lonely it was, and he wondered how he could’ve done that for so long, stay inside his head for hours, days, weeks even. It was a mystery to him.

He didn’t get a chance to walk through the door, however, because as he turned away, he ran into someone standing behind him. Eren was a good five feet, eight inches, so the fact that he ran into someone’s chest was… intimidating, to say the least. Eren didn’t dare look up to meet whoever’s gaze it was because doing so would be like looking a starving wolf in the eyes, challenging it for dominance. 

In a way, this  _ was  _ a starving wolf that Eren had walked into. They’d been starved from getting their knuckles bruised on Eren’s skin, they’d been starved from hearing his grunts of pain and promises of revenge they never believed. In a way, they were  _ ravenous  _ to have Eren under their boots, showing him his place where he’d been taught he’d belong. And they showed him just how hungry they were. The tardy bell had rung out through all of their ears, and they payed no mind to it, knowing that their father’s or their mother’s would vouch against their tardiness, preaching to the teachers that they didn’t do anything wrong.

Eren didn’t have anyone to vouch for him. No lawyer father, no important mother that was a CEO somewhere. Just his sister, who he never saw anymore, and a mother, who was too sick to stand. His teachers all hated him, and they didn’t have to say so for him to know. They all thought he was the weirdest thing that ever walked through the door. His nose buried in the same page of the book for ten minutes or more. 

They never said anything to him. They never wanted to. The only thing the teachers did when he walked into the classroom, bruised with dried blood on his face was send him to the nurse to get bandaged up, staring at him as he walked back out of the classroom. He guessed, in their eyes, he always deserved the pain, the marks on his skin. He was a freak, different from everyone else because his dad beat his mother. It’s all the more tragic because that’s not what happened at all. 

Today, however, Eren didn’t bother walking back into the school once they were through with him. They’d been especially cruel today, knocking him to the ground and kicking his stomach and ribs until he ached with every breath. There was no blood this time, only the rushing in his ears and the creaking of his ribs. The rolling of his stomach and the shortness of his breath. Once he regained his wits about him, he’d get up off the floor and limp back home, saying “fuck it,” if only for one day. 

He’d gotten halfway to his house when he realized something. He’d grown dependent on Levi, always searching for him out of the corner of his eye. Levi was kind of like an anchor, tying him in the present and keeping him from going to the lovely, perfect places in his mind. He realized that while that place in his head might’ve been perfect, it was slowly poisoning him with those  _ what ifs  _ and  _ could’ve beens.  _ Levi pulled him from that, whether it was too late or not was up to Eren. He could simply just shut Levi out, have him move on from Eren and continue to live in his mind, but he hadn’t. Maybe it  _ wasn’t  _ too late for him.

From ‘ _ Cancelling Homecoming’  _ pg. 125

 

“On December 12, 1975, everyone was astonished by the events that happened during the last football game of the season in the small county of Shiganshina. Everyone is absolutely amazed at the abilities Eren Yeager, aged 17, displayed. But there’s something missing from this puzzle, something that everyone see, and yet no one talks about. Or maybe some _ one.  _

Levi Ackerman, born on Christmas Day, 1958, was believed to be involved in some way, although no one seems to remember him being there at all. It’s no secret that he and Yeager were very close friends, and by some counts, more than that, but what role did he have to play in all of this? Did he even know the remarkable abilities that Yeager seemed to possess? I would even take it a step farther to ask: was he the brains behind the brawn? 

To get down to the answer, we first need to look at the person. Ackerman, also aged 17 at the time, was severely bullied like his friend. But unlike Mr. Yeager, he seemed more outgoing. Still not a social butterfly, but far more driven to make friends in the crowded halls of Shiganshina high school. 

Why was he bullied? Levi had what we know as Tourette’s Syndrome, where he would sometimes uncontrollably twitch his head and hands. Sometimes it was so bad that he would involuntarily shout profanities. High school is especially cruel as many rumors started to float around that he was possessed by the devil. Some of the students that survived the homecoming game swore that he was still. Even so, that never seemed to bother Levi, as he was always seen with a blank face and Yeager always by his side. It makes sense that he would be involved in this in some way, especially since he was never seen again after that football game.” 

  
  


The next day, Eren’s shakiness had yet to be quelled. The chilliness of the morning had sunk in deeper than it had in almost a month. He really should’ve stayed at school yesterday, grunting through the pain and limping through the hallways. But knowing that he wouldn’t have Levi by his side made everything hazy and dreadful. He didn’t want to go through the day alone, and as pathetic as that sounded, it was the truth. 

He got to the end of his road when he noticed a black car driving by. He recognized Levi’s face as it passed him, and in that split second, they locked eyes. Eren would be lying if he said his heart didn’t stutter in his chest. Be lying if he said his ears didn’t feel a bit warmer. The car screeched to a stop a second after it had passed, and Eren’s mind was filled with the image of Levi’s eyes, and how much they reminded him of the glorious sound. 

Eren didn’t have time to blink before Levi was jumping out of the passenger seat, with his bag slung over his shoulder, making his way toward Eren in an odd gait. Eren didn’t care. He was just happy to see his friend, and the smile that spread over his face when he saw Levi waving on the car that had dropped him off was dopey, foolish. The events that unfolded yesterday didn’t matter anymore. Levi was here with him now, and there was nothing they couldn’t do. 

“Hello, Levi!” Eren waved. Levi let a small smile twist onto his lips before he scrunched up his face in an adorable way. Levi never got to smile that much, so when Eren saw it, he felt warmness grow in his chest. He liked Levi’s half-smiles because they were so… so… He can’t think of the word for it. A bunch of images started flashing in his mind. The darkness of wood after rain fell. The scent of honeysuckles right before spring ended. Fireworks. Gravel crunching. Green, blue, pink. 

Beautiful? 

He liked Levi’s half smiles because they were so beautiful. So purely and utterly Levi that Eren felt like his face was melting, the cold all but banished. 

Levi caught stood before him in a moment, the car he’d jumped out of driving away so fast that Eren didn’t get to see who was driving. He didn’t much care, attention diverted to the boy standing in front of him. “Hello, Er-Eren.” Levi’s face was blank, but even Eren could see the microscopic cringe when Levi stuttered, head twitching to the side like it often did. 

He didn’t say anything, though, never did. He just smiled at him as they continued to walk toward school. It was weird at first, having Levi so close when he was used to being alone. They didn’t talk all that much, so Eren guessed they were both alone. They were just alone together, if that made any sense. 

Today, however, Eren was eager to hold a conversation. He hadn’t seen him yesterday, or that weekend. He’d gone three days alone, and that wasn’t okay with him. “Where were you yesterday?” At this, Levi instantly tenses up, muscles going stiff under his thin jacket. 

It’s been a month, and Eren never asks Levi questions, just accepts him for who he is. But god dammit, he wanted an answer to this question. He was still aching when he took in a deep breath, and he deserved an answer from the boy beside him. 

“I was at the hospital.” Eren’s breath hitched, his feet involuntarily stopping in their movements, the first time that’s ever happened. Dread, cold and ruthless, sunk down into Eren’s stomach, and this feeling wasn’t a heel tap to what Eren had felt the yesterday, when he was getting the shit beat out of him. 

He didn’t know why he was feeling that way. Levi was standing right in front of him, looking at him like he always did, bored and uninterested. He had stopped to turn around and gaze at him, making him feel impossibly small even though he was a couple inches taller than Levi. He was clearly fine, so it didn’t make sense for him to feel the way he did. 

Levi cleared his throat after a minute and made a motion for Eren to keep walking. Eren nodded, not really sure what he was affirming, and when he caught up with Levi, he couldn’t,  _ wouldn’t,  _ take his eyes off of him, afraid he’d disappear. 

When his feet were successfully listening to him fully again, walking on their own without any conscious effort on Eren’s part, he asked, “Why were you in the hospital?” 

Levi’s head twitched to the side as he hiccupped, breathing in such a large amount of air that he started to cough. Eren just waited, patiently, as this happened all the time with the other boy. His head twitching side to side so much that he couldn’t speak for a certain amount of time. After a month beside him, Eren was used to this. He also should’ve known that his question would trigger something, mild tics or… the more complex ones. Sometimes they depended on how nervous Levi was, and by the way he’s acting, Eren would guess that he’s made him  _ extremely  _ nervous. 

“I was-” He let out a high pitched whistle, and Eren wanted to tell him to forget about, to just calm down, that he didn’t need to tell him. But his curiosity and his aching ribs kept him silent and patient. “At the hospital because of-” His head jerked to the side roughly. Once, twice, three times, four times. Eren was about to step in when Levi suddenly stopped and continued like nothing had ever happened. “-my tics.” 

Scrunching up his face, Levi dared not look at Eren in fear of what he might find if he did. But the only thing on Eren’s face was confusion. Why would Levi need to go to the hospital for something like that? Weren’t they just little things that Levi did? They couldn’t really hurt him right? 

“Oh.” And Eren left it at that because, even if he did want answers to those questions, he didn’t think Levi would make it through all of them. 

“I know what you’re thinking.” He let out another low whistle. “But that’s why I went to the hospital. Tic attack.” 

“Tic attack?” Eren shoved his hands in his pocket’s, fingers growing numb out in the cold. 

“I don’t know how to explain it you, Eren.” Levi’s head never really stopped moving, but at least he could still talk through the twitching. “Tics are easy to put up with as long as you get a break between them. A tic attack is when I don’t get any breaks.” 

Suddenly, an image of Levi on the ground, thrashing his head and arching his back shoved its way into Eren’s head. Tears streaking down pale cheeks and limbs curved at unnatural angles. Fists clenching and unclenching as he screamed. Eren shuddered, and for the first time in his life, he found himself thankful for the beatings. He’d rather go through a thousand of them than to lose control of his body like that. 

“But you’re okay, right?” Eren couldn’t keep the desperation out of his voice, and when he looked at Levi, he could feel the moisture building on his lashes. He didn’t want to let the tears fall, but imagining Levi like that, in so much pain, made an ache in Eren’s chest. Something that was so much different than bruised ribs and bruises, but at the same time, not all that different. 

Levi just grunted and scrunched up his face again. “Look at me. I’m still walking around and talking, aren’t I?” Levi wanted to sound grouchy, that Eren knew, but Levi’s tone was soft, gliding over the words without a single hiccup or twitch. 

When they arrived at the school building, it had not yet opened, leaving them on the bench where they found themselves so many mornings for the past month. They had long since finished  _ The Outsiders  _ and had moved on to it’s cousin,  _ Rumble Fish.  _ It was almost ritual for them now. First they would sit down, huddled close together, trying to keep warm. Afterward, Eren would pull out the book, pretending to read it quietly to himself until Levi would ask, “Eren, would you read it out loud? It’s too quiet.” Sometimes, Levi would even say, “Eren, don’t be a dick and just read it, dammit.” Eren didn’t mind either way because from then on until the bell rang, Eren would read it out loud, not caring who walked by or who stared at them. He was content to be in his own little bubble, his own little world, with just Levi beside him. 

It was perfect.

Until it wasn’t. 

Just like a clap of thunder, a twitch in Levi’s neck, everything they’d ever accomplished, set up in that small little universe of theirs, collapsed into nothing. When Eren first felt the book leave his hands, the words on the page disappearing from his gaze, he thought that maybe he’d just dropped it, maybe it’d fallen. But when he felt Levi snap his head upward, did he realize that no, he, in fact, did  _ not  _ drop it. 

The book was now in the hands of a senior whose name Eren never bothered to remember. A group of his cronies standing behind him, but never saying anything other than the exceptional “yeahs” and “uh-huhs.” 

The hands that touched his book now were the same hands that had pummeled his face countless times before. And so many times before Eren had diverted his gaze to the ground, ready to just get it over with. This time however, felt a bit off, like something was missing. 

Or maybe, there was just an extra piece. 

Levi twitched beside Eren, a frown on his face as he stared directly at the senior standing in front of him with the open book in his hands. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Levi wasn’t supposed to see this. He wasn’t supposed to know just how well and truly fucked Eren actually was. He could pretend to be calm around Levi when it was just the two of them in their bubble, but how cool would he act when that bubble was popped, when he was bleeding and crying on the ground, clutching his stomach. 

Levi would be absolutely disgusted. 

“Hey, asshole, give the book back.” Even now Levi was standing up for him, in a way that had nothing and everything to do with Eren. Eren could still see the microscopic way Levi’s hand twitched, the way the thumb and middle finger connected and unconnected at a rapid pace, but Levi could suppress his tics very well if he wanted. It just made them all the more violent when he finally gave into them. 

“What’re you gonna do about, you spaz?” Eren cringed inwardly, wanting to lash out, scream, throw punches at this absolute shit-fuck for saying anything to Levi at all. Eren was the target here. Levi was completely innocent. 

But then, the senior said the one thing that Eren couldn’t just ignore. “Why weren’t you here yesterday? Did Satan need his little fuck toy back?” 

The world turned to static, his mind erased with nothing but white noise. There wasn’t anything left around him at this point. No Levi, no cronies. Just Eren’s unadulterated rage and the senior that was unlucky enough to piss him off. He could beat him senseless, watch as blood poured from his mouth and brake every rib in his chest. This senior could take a knife and plunge it into Eren’s heart, rip him open until he was nothing but a mess of tissue and bones, and Eren still wouldn’t give a shit. 

But as soon as he said something to Levi, Eren could feel rage boiling in his stomach, could feel the fire in his cheeks, spreading throughout his body. There was something sharp and hot in his fingertips. Something that had no explanation. He narrowed his eyes as he felt himself stand up onto his feet by his own accord. He could feel his hands clenching into fists, his heart throwing itself against his ribcage. He wanted nothing more in the whole world than to see this senior on his knees, crying. 

He threw the punch before he could think about what he was doing. He didn’t know if he hit his target or not because there was a sharp pain in his temple, and everything quietly darkened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! have a chapter of my new favorite thing to write ever. I hope you enjoyed. (I didn't edit this chapter because I'm a loser, so... shhh)
> 
> Feedback always appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

            Levi never gave a flying fuck about what people thought about him. If they didn’t like him or his many peculiarities, then they could just fuck right off. He didn’t need to pay attention to them; he just needed to find his goal, a meaning in his life, and focus solely on that. He never wavered. He never drifted, and his social life took the brunt of that force.

            When his mother told him they were moving, he didn’t have anyone to say goodbye to, no one to tell. He only had his neighbor’s children who he’d played with when they were little, but they probably didn’t remember him. If they did, they mostly likely recalled him as the boy with the twitch who they felt sorry for.

            That was the one thing Levi couldn’t stand, people pitying him. He didn’t need it, didn’t want it. Pity to him was worse than the actual affliction troubling his body. Pity made him sick to his stomach, made his mouth dry. It was the one thing that was absolutely useless to him. So, he never bothered trying to make friends, choosing instead to let them wonder about him, _pity_ him, in silence. He never told anyone that he twitched because he had Tourette’s, just let them think what they want.

            Friends were pointless, as they always wanted to _be there for him_ or _sympathize._ He wished they’d just leave him the fuck alone. And he got his wish when his mother told him to pack his bags, they were moving.

            He should’ve felt sad, maybe a little remorseful, but the only thing he felt was indifference, and one would argue that that’s not a feeling at all. Levi couldn’t care less. The only thing he’d have to worry about is someone at the new school coming up to him… trying to _talk_ to him. That was the only thing he regretted, having to build up a new reputation for himself. Having to go through the motions of letting other people know that he was not to be fucked with.

            He told his mother to drop him off at school super early that day, just so he could size up the other students from the start, see where they all come from. How many drive to school? How many ride the bus? He didn’t want to walk through the hallway and not at least _recognize_ a face. He had to know everyone’s face, if not their names. Maybe that was his OCD acting up, but he was quite used to its nauseating effects, especially since his mother destroyed every routine he had by picking them up and moving.  Only, he never did learn any of their names or even their faces. He found out later that he never cared.

            When he pulled up to the school in his mother’s car, there was already someone sitting on the bench outside of the school. Someone already sitting where he should be, reading a book like he didn’t just destroy everything Levi was working towards. Before he got out of the car, he took a slow breath, snapped four times, whistled, and snapped four times again with the opposite hand. A ritual his mother couldn’t just take away because they’d moved.

            Jumping out of the car, Levi didn’t really know what to expect. He didn’t even know what to do. Did he approach the boy? Did he keep as much distance as he possibly could? What was he supposed to do?

            Then his gaze zeroed in on the book in the boy’s hands, and all of his thoughts quieted, all the static and itches drowning into utter calmness. He’d walked toward him without thinking, and he never remembered to walk away again. For a month, he was with Eren always. It was a shock, really. Eren didn’t question him, didn’t pity him. He took him for what he was and never really questioned him. In fact, Eren would often roll his eyes at him, maybe slip in an _I told you so._ If Levi didn’t want to talk, that was fine. Eren didn’t like talking either. Sometimes Levi would look at him, and he would be far away that Levi didn’t even recognize him. He’d be staring off into space, and Levi knew that he wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon, so he should just get comfy because he wouldn't be going anywhere for a while.

            Levi had never had a _true_ friend before, and if Eren was his friend, then he wondered why he waited so long to have one. Eren, in the short time they’d known each other, had done more for Levi than anyone else. All he had to do was just exist, and it made Levi’s life ten times better. He made it easier to go through everyday life, made it more exciting. Levi found that he enjoyed waking up, when before he’d do anything to sleep forever. He’d had nothing to look forward to, but now, it seemed like everything was an adventure. And it was all Eren’s doing.

            He might’ve not been aware of it, but Eren was slowly and surely making Levi’s life more livable.

            Every day, they met on the bench, and every day they read a book before school started. Levi stressed less and in turn that meant less tic attacks and more of the dreaded twitches fading into the background. He still had a handful that he did often, but so many had disappeared a couple of days after he met Eren that it was almost unreal. He loved it, the freedom that came with a dead tic, so he stayed glued to Eren’s side with some misguided hope that they’d all be erased and he’d be cured miraculously. But he couldn’t keep them away forever. And a month without a tic attack was too good to be true. He had to come back to reality eventually.

            That Monday morning, Levi woke up with his head thrown back, his back arching off the bed. Instantly, he knew what this was, but he had no idea what triggered it. Usually, the trigger for a tic attack was stress, but there was no stress when Levi was sleeping.

            He’d have to get up, get his mother, get his medication, do _something_ other than just sit there and tic. He hoped, prayed, begged that this was just one of his five-minute attacks, that this would pass just as quickly as it had come, but as he lay in bed, conscious of the way his body twisted and turned, he knew that it was going to last for a very, _very_ long time. He could scream out for someone, but doing that meant defeat.

            And besides he had no idea what time it was, the clock on the other side of his room was too far away to see. He didn’t even know if anyone was awake to hear him. He had to find a way to get out of bed, to get to the kitchen and get to his meds.

            But the thought of moving at all was purely fictional. His body was moving on its own, and he had no control over it. He didn’t have a choice, but he’d fooled himself into thinking that he did, like he always did. He could just lay here, twitching around, and wait until his mom came to check on him. He refused to scream out for her, which he’d get an earful about later, but he didn’t care. His mom would come eventually.

            And she did, forty minutes later. At least, Levi thought it was forty minutes. He wasn’t exactly counting. She jumped right into action, holding his head and keeping his arms from lashing out. She took all the blankets off the bed so he wouldn’t get tangled in them. She whispered soothing words.

            And when none of that seemed to work, she called an ambulance. Levi had progressively been getting more violent, lashing out and twisting his body into painful shapes. He’d cried out in frustration several times unable to get his body under control. Tears were streaming down his face, and he had no idea what to do.

            So, he spent the rest of the day in the hospital, restrained and sedated. He _hated_ it. He’d found himself wishing many times that he was at school, reading a book with Eren, laughing because Eren told him that joke about the goat and the wagon again, even though he’d heard it several times before. Being bored during study hall because he didn’t have anyone to talk to, or just sit next to. Hating lunch because he could never resist a soda. He _missed_ it. He wanted to be there now, not drugged into some hospital room with a needle strapped in his arm.

            And then it was over. Settling back into the hospital bed, he felt exhausted, but it was over, and that’s all that mattered. He could go home now.

            The next day started out not _quite_ how he expected it to. He saw Eren walking and quickly yelled at his mother to pull the car over so he could get out and walk with him. Then Eren had started asking questions.

            Levi will never forget that look on Eren’s face when he’d told him he’d been in the hospital. Eren looked _devastated,_ like he was the one that had put Levi there, like it was all his fault. Levi didn’t know what to do. What could he do? No one’s _ever_ looked at Levi liked that. Not his neighbors, not his mother, definitely not anyone at school.

            And Levi didn’t know what this warmth was that was spreading through his chest, piercing his heart in a painful way that brought relief. He could feel his breath hitch in his throat as he stared at the boy with tears in his green eyes. He felt the sudden urge to do something. What that something was, he had no idea. He wanted to comfort Eren, wanted to wrap him up in his arms and never ever let him go again. Because this feeling in his chest is something that Eren had given him, something he’s never had before.

            But what did he do instead of that? He’d made some sarcastic remark, trying to sound as put off as he could. That was just who he was. His tone and his tics. That’s all he was really, until Eren came along that is.

            Eren didn’t even know the way he was affecting Levi, didn’t know the way he was making Levi feel. He just existed, and that was all Levi could ever ask for. Then, the bullies came a snatched the book out of his hands, called him a spaz, degraded him. And what did Eren do?

            Eren stood up, threw just one punch in Levi’s name. And that punch meant everything. It meant that Eren actually cared and wasn’t just tolerating him. It shouldn’t make Levi that happy, to see someone get the shit beaten out of them just because they’d pissed Eren off by insulting Levi. But beat the shit out of that senior, Eren did. The senior threw some punched, knocking Eren in the nose, but it didn’t seem like he even felt it. He just continued to throw punch after punch, grab on to anything that could be grabbed and lock his grip throwing the bully into his fist. Levi shouldn’t feel a rush of joy, shouldn’t feel the surge of power that wells up in his chest.

            But watching Eren, blood running from his nose and coating his knuckles was such a beautiful sight, and Levi was almost sad when the seniors ran away like dogs, their tail tucked between their legs. Eren didn’t say anything, just looked as they ran on. Levi could see the far-away look in his eyes, and he didn’t have to know Eren to tell that he’d gone somewhere in his head, and he didn’t know when he’d return.

            Gingerly, Levi took Eren by the hand and led him into the school, trying to get by the wall of people that had gathered around them. He wanted them to see, wanted them to know what would happen if they got in the way of Levi and Eren. And he was sickened by this feeling. He _shouldn’t_ feel this way, yet he does. Unexplainable and despicable and _fucking_ _ticcing_. That’s all Levi was.

            Levi maneuvered Eren into the bathroom, sitting him down on the counter by the sink. He wet a paper towel and started to dab at the drying blood on his friend’s nose. He wanted to yell at him, tell him he didn’t need saving, but Levi knew he couldn’t hear him wherever he was. Wouldn’t listen to anything he said. Eren looked at Levi without seeing him, and the shorter of the two had gotten used to that look, had seen it so many times, that it didn’t surprise him.

When Levi pressed the wet paper towel to his face, Eren’s glassy stare seemed to focus in a little more. He wiped at the blood and before long Eren started to stir from his daze, and he finally saw Levi and what he was doing.

“Hey.” And then the raven-haired boy knew for sure that Eren was back. This time, Levi didn’t hesitate. He leaned in, the blood-soaked towel in his hand, and hugged Eren, tucking his head into his neck. There was a stinging in his eyes and an ache in his chest, but he was so _happy_ that the feelings didn’t make sense. Levi could bitch later because this wasn’t about Eren getting a bloody nose or a couple bruises. This was about what he _did._ In all of his sixteen years of life, through all the bullies and the so called _friends_ of his, Levi has never had someone who would stand up for him. He could take care of himself, but the fact that Eren wouldn’t even care about that was almost heartbreaking. He threw himself into the line of fire before Levi could tell him _no, stop._

Eren didn’t pity him or try to understand. Eren made Levi feel _powerful,_ something Levi’s never felt before in his life. So, tucked between Eren’s legs, head resting in his neck, Levi said, “Hey.”

 

 

From “ _Fight of a Noble: A Blog by C.S.”_

 

            “There’s not much information about the extent of Eren and Levi’s tormentors. Assuming they died on the night of the Homecoming game, the personal records of the deceased are long since locked up and they’ve thrown away the key. No one, not even a handsome devil like myself, was able to get into them.

            But there is something we do know, and that is the _Fight of a Noble_ as it’s been so graciously dubbed by historians. Everyone who’s ever looked into the Homecoming Case of ’75 will know what it is, so it astounds me why so many people have asked for it. The _Fight of a Noble_ was an incident that happened at Shiganshina High School a year before Homecoming Night. It’s said to be the first _true_ display of Eren Jager’s powers.

            One day, I heard it was snowing but I’m sure that’s not true, seeing as Levi and Eren walked to school that day, they were sitting on their bench, reading their book like usually. (I can’t remember what book, but who _honestly_ gives a shit.) And some senior snatches it out of their hands. I know this senior died, though, because his father came forward about it and yelled really loud, or something.

            _Anyway,_ this bully said something to Levi, assumed to be something about his Tourette’s, which is fucking ableism if I’ve ever seen anything, but I mean, it’s the 70s, pretty sure Jim Crow laws were still a thing. (I just googled it, and Jim Crow laws were abolished in 1965. It’s a good thing I’m not an expert on these things)

            So, Eren went totally bazerk because someone had said something to Levi, and that’s a no-no in Eren’s book. And witnesses say that Eren became a beast, lashing out with seemingly everything he had. Some counts say that Eren knocked the boy out cold with one hit, but that seems a little far-fetched because Eren was only sixteen at the time. Like okay, sure.

            But seriously, a lot of people, _witnesses,_ say that Eren wasn’t even Eren when he was fighting. He turned into an animal with wild, flashing eyes. Snapping at people who even _looked_ at Levi wrong. And Levi would just stand on the side lines with his blank face.

            Side note: Everywhere, I read that Levi had a blank face at all times, but I have a theory that no one ever really looked at him long enough to find out what his face looked like. People’s brains just fill in the gap with a blank expression. Because in every single photograph of Levi from before that night, he was always with Eren and he _always_ had a small smile on his face. Never was he completely stone cold as the stories would have us believe.

            But yeah, guys, you asked for it, so I delivered. _Fight of a Noble_ was the fight between Eren and a senior that died on Homecoming Night. They call it the _Fight of a Noble_ because in a way it almost seems like Eren was the knight in shining armor coming Levi’s aid (even though I’m sure the dude doesn’t need it.) and slaying the dragon. Very noble indeed, if you ask me. Which you probably didn’t. But damn, do I need an Eren Jaeger to come sweep me off my feet. I mean, I know what he did was wrong, but can you blame me? That boy is fucking _charming._ I don’t care who you are.

            Anyway, that it. Springer out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last update of 2016, may this year never be talked about again...
> 
> Feedback me, please.


	4. Chapter 4

If anyone told Eren that he’d be sitting on the counter of a school restroom with a boy he’d met a month ago in between his legs, arms wrapped around him, Eren would’ve assumed that they weren’t all there in the head. But here he was, with his arms wrapped equally tight around Levi, like if he let go, the whole world would fall apart, the universe itself would shatter into a million pieces and lay at their feet. Levi sniffled when he pulled away, and Eren was tempted to ask him what happened, but he has a pretty good guess. By his bloody nose and Levi’s almost-crying, Eren doesn’t have to be a genius to figure it out.

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that right?” Levi’s voice was gruff and strained, his hand was doing that thing where the middle finger and thumb connected rapidly. He was scared.

“It’s that obvious, huh?” Eren laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. He thought about what the bullies said, and he instantly felt something creep into his stomach. He couldn’t put a name to it. It felt black and blue, like a bruise that wasn’t visible. It made him think of the sea and how sick he used to get when he hopped onto his uncle’s boat. It wasn’t fear, and he wasn’t sick.

An unseen bruise explains it the best. Something that had struck him that hard, had caused that much anger in him, was bound to leave behind a mark, visible or not. Levi crossed his arms over his chest, blocking himself from Eren’s view as his stomach started to tic violently. Little squeaks escaped his mouth, and Levi turned away completely, looking like he was going to be sick.

Eren just pulled him back into that tight embrace, hugging him to his body as the shorter one let the tics out, letting everything go as he melted into Eren. The boy would gladly stay in this bathroom all day, shielding Levi from prying eyes, comforting him, stroking a hand through his black hair and shushing him. To Eren, this was the most important place he could be at the moment, making sure that Levi was alright.

“I’m fine,” Levi said, like he could sense what Eren had thought exactly when he thought it. “You can let go of me now.”

“I don’t think I wanna.” Eren sounded petulant, pouting maybe. But it was the truth. He didn’t want to let go. He’d gladly throw his face into a million bullies’ fists if they never talked about Levi that way again. He’d gladly stay here forever if that meant that no one _ever_ hurt Levi again. He’d give an arm and a leg to just see Levi happy, smiling and laughing like nothing had ever been said.

And Eren knew, deep down, that this was all his fault. If he had just pushed Levi away that morning on the bench. If he’d not been so fucking _friendly,_ then maybe Levi wouldn’t get sucked down into this hole with him, wouldn’t get laughed at or teased or be the subject of such harsh ridicule. Maybe he would’ve been okay if Eren hadn’t said anything that day.

And even though, with guilt settling in his stomach, making him black and blue all over, he still couldn’t find it in himself to push Levi away. He couldn’t. He _wouldn’t._ And it was all his fault.

“I don’t care what you want, shit head. Let go of me.” There was no bite in Levi’s words. In fact, they sounded soft, almost fond. He didn’t struggle to get away; he leaned into Eren’s touch, exhaling when Eren’s fingers carded through his hair.

This wasn’t anything new for them. Often, neither of them found comfort in words and assurances. The spoken language meant nothing to them because what they both craved was physical contact. The only way to get Levi to calm down when his tics started acting up was to wrap him in Eren’s arms, pin his hands in between his and Eren’s chest so they wouldn’t move, comb through the tangles in his hair. The only way to get Eren to perk up after a stressful night looking after his mother was to sit Levi by his side, curled up and listening as Eren read a book. They were never shy with each other because what have they to be shy about? What do they have to lose?

The answer is absolutely nothing but each other. And through those small touches and embraces were secrets and promises. Questions and answers. The truth. _I am not going anywhere,_ Eren’s hands said as they carded through Levi’s hair.

_Me neither,_ said Levi’s exhale. They had each other, and that was all that really mattered.

 

 

From  _ “Cancelling Homecoming”  _ pg. 5

“Eren Yeager was born on a very rainy day in March, 1958. He was, seemingly, a model child with a model, middle class family. His mother, Carla Yeager, was a stay-at-home mom while his father, Grisha Yeager, was a surgeon at Shiganshina Medical Hospital. They adopted a daughter, Mikasa Ackerman, who was older than Eren by two years. The family even had a dog. Everything was absolutely perfect from the outside looking in, but behind closed doors, things weren’t what they appeared.

Stress ran high in the Yeager household. Mrs. Yeager smoked a pack a day and Mr. Yeager drank the liquor store that was positioned on the street corner every weekend. It’s hard to say where the tense atmosphere of the house came from, but it’s believed that Mr. and Mrs. Yeager’s marriage was falling apart. Some speculations accuse Eren of being the cause. Eye witness accounts tell me that Eren was a very troubled child and strange things seemed to happen wherever the little boy went.

On instance of this, recounted by Mrs. Alma Reiss, mother of deceased Krista Lenz, of what she likes to call the  _ Tree Incident. _

‘The Yeagers were always very kind,’ she says with a nostalgic smile. ‘They came to every neighborhood barbeque, and they always brought the children. My little Krista loved to play with them. They’d play hide and seek for hours, and I remember the oldest child, Mikasa, being very good at it. One time it took them thirty minutes to find her. She’d climbed up a tree you, and children never think to look up. She was a smart girl, Mikasa. Anyway, the Yeagers were such lovely people.

‘We lived right next door, so I’d like to think we knew them well, but I’d noticed that no one ever came over. None of the children’s friends, no coworkers of Grisha’s. It was very odd. For such wonderful people, you’d think they’d have visitors all the time, but no. No one ever came, and no one ever went.

‘One day, I saw Eren standing outside, throwing a ball around with his sister. The dog was chasing them around the yard and they all looked very happy. I remember because my little Krista was sick with the flu that day, and I knew that if she wasn’t sick, she’d be out there playing with them. She loved that dog to death, mind you. She always wanted one but I’d never let her have it.’ At this point, Mrs. Reiss looks close to tears, and I ask her if she wants to stop. Bringing up a child that is long gone is very painful for an old woman, and I understand this. But she refuses my offer, saying that she needs to tell this story.

‘I can’t really recall what happened exactly, as it happened so fast, but the dog was running after the ball that had rolled out into the road. A car was speeding around the corner, unaware that this was a neighborhood with children and dogs; he wasn’t paying the least bit of attention. He hit the dog… and I remember thinking how upset Krista would be.

‘My thoughts were interrupted, however, by Eren screaming. The man had jumped out of the car as fast as he could, but it was too late for the poor animal. He tried to calm the child that screaming, but it seemed that Eren only got more angered.

‘I can still hear it sometimes, that scream. It makes its way into my dreams at night and wakes me up. It was the most gut wrenching sound I’ve ever heard. I still have nightmares about that day.’ She takes a deep breath to calm herself. ‘The boy kept screaming, and the man had started to back up toward his car. Mikasa had run to get their mother, but Eren was distraught. I remember he’d pointed a finger at the man, accusatory.

‘Before I tell you this next part, you have to understand where we live. There are many trees here. Across the street there was a small forest. Krista and the Yeager children would run and play through it all day if they could. I can’t remember how many times Krista came home with poison oak. But there’s this one tree where they would always meet up at, one that was right in front of the Yeager household. They’d climb it, etch their names into it, run around it. It was, in all sense,  _ their  _ tree.

‘So when Eren pointed a finger, I realized that he wasn’t pointing it at the man. He was pointing it at the tree. And as his screams calmed down, the tree crackled and fell. It fell on the man’s car, knocking him down in the process. I think he was fine, maybe a couple bruises, but his car was totaled.

‘But everyone had thought it was a tragic, freak accident. No one thought to look in Eren’s direction. No one, except for me. I saw what he did that day. I saw what he was capable of. That boy is the devil!’”

 

 

Wednesday started out… desert, tan sand, no rain… boring? No, that wasn’t the right word. Wednesday morning wasn’t boring, just dreadfully dull. On the bench outside the school, Eren had finished reading _Rumble Fish,_ and he hadn’t thought to bring another book with him. So, he and Levi just sat together, watching the morning pass awfully slow. They didn’t talk about much. Sometimes Levi would point out a cloud with a weird shape, and Eren would laugh and point at his own, but other than that the morning passed with aching boredom. Eren could tell Levi felt it too. His head whipping to the side and his stomach twitching, small squeaks coming out of his mouth.

When the busses arrived, not one person even  _ looked  _ in their direction. Eren didn’t hear any more whispers about him or Levi, and it seemed like everyone was trying to avoid them at all costs. Eren wasn’t the type of kid to be avoided, and it made him wonder what exactly happened yesterday. He was tempted to ask Levi about it, but the boy looked so upset yesterday that Eren knew he shouldn’t push it.

“I want to do something, and you’re probably going to think it’s stupid,” Levi said while they were walking to class, Levi trying to step with the same foot as Eren.

“Why would I think it’s stupid,” Eren asked, eyebrows furrowing.

Levi stopped suddenly, and Eren had to jerk back in order to stay beside him. His confusion only grew when Levi looked sharply to his right. Eren only had to follow his gaze to get all of the answers he needed. There was a pink slip of paper taped onto the wall with words printed in swishy letters.  _ Come Audition For the School Musical! Shiganshina High School presents The Music Man. Auditions Wednesday and Thursday from 3:30 to 5:00. _

Eren’s eyebrows didn’t relax with the new knowledge. It just left him with more questions. Why did Levi want to try out for the school musical? Why did he think Eren would think it was stupid? Why was Levi just bringing this up?

“You want to try out for the school musical?” Levi only nodded, waiting for the questions he knew Eren would ask, but Eren wasn’t going to riddle him just yet. He had to think. If Levi was going to do it, then Eren would have to be there. Maybe not on stage because that was kind of scary, but maybe he could just help clean up the Auditorium after. Maybe he could help with props or work the lights. Eren was attached to Levi’s hip most of the time. Like hell he was going to stop now. “Are you auditioning today or tomorrow?”

Levi’s eyes widen, marginally, not expecting  _ this  _ type of question. “I was planning on doing it tomorrow.”

“Okay, good, because I want to be there.” Eren nodded his head forward, a signal for them to continue walking, lest they wanted to be late to class.

“You’re going to be there?” Levi bit his lip, staring at his feet and trying to get the right one to step with Eren’s right one. Eren slowed down his steps to make it a little easier on him.

“I wanna be. I can’t be there today because I have to cook dinner for mom. If you’d told me sooner, maybe I could’ve worked something out.” There was bite in Eren’s words. Why didn’t Levi tell him sooner than the day before? Did he really think Eren would’ve condemned him? Eren didn’t even  _ know  _ that Levi was interested in theatre. He would’ve recited his rendition of  _ Guys and Dolls  _ a million times by now if he just  _ knew. _

“I didn’t know I wanted to do it until yesterday.” Levi’s voice was quiet, and Eren had to strain to hear him. “I just realized that it would be a good distraction, you know… from everything.” Eren sighed, guilt starting to creep back into his skin at the indirect mention of yesterday. He didn’t want to think about yesterday. Yesterday was dead. “Are you going to audition?”

“No, but I’ll find some way to help out.”

Levi nodded, and the rest of the day passed in the blink of an eye. Lunch was a blur, and English was practically a dream. P.E never really happened, and chemistry wasn’t real, was it? Before Eren knew it, he was walking home, hands tucked into his pockets, and Levi walking beside him. His mind flitted back to the musical, and he realized he had one more question. “You can sing?”

Levi looked at him and fucking  _ beamed.  _ Eren didn’t think he’s ever seen Levi smile that big before without whipping his head back or scrunching up his face. Nodding Levi said, “It’s the only thing I can do without ticcing, so I do it a lot.” There was a tone under Levi’s voice that Eren couldn’t quite place. It sounded like the last page of a book being turned, looked lilac, but Eren wasn’t sure. Levi seemed… happy. Content.

Eren would’ve demanded that Levi sing him a song, right now, please, but he realized that all good things come with those who wait. He’d wait until tomorrow. That was it. Anything longer, Eren thought he would explode. The smile never really left Levi’s face, and he seemed like he was in a good mood. Only when they reached Eren’s road, that his smile faltered.

“You okay?”

“Mom’s working late tonight.” Levi scrunched up his face. Eren knew what that was code for.  _ My mom’s going to come home wasted tonight and probably with a guy I don’t know.  _ Eren had to think of something,  _ quickly  _ because Levi was walking away.

Eren situated the back pack on his shoulder, saying as he did, “You want to come over for dinner tonight? I’m making chicken and rice.” Levi stopped dead in his tracks, looking at Eren over his shoulders with narrowed eyes. He actually had no idea what he was making tonight, but he knew now. He’d only said it because he knew it was Levi’s favorite. He’d have to wait a couple hours for the chicken to thaw out, but dinner would be served by six… six thirty at the latest. But Levi knew what he was doing, trying to lure him with chicken and rice, god damn that brat.

“Alright.” He turned and started to walk down Eren’s road with him.

This wouldn’t be the first time that Levi had been over to Eren’s house. He’d once come over during the weekend to help him with his math homework, but this was the first time he was coming over for dinner. The first time he’d meet Mikasa. The first time he’d be inside the kitchen – or at least he hoped so because there’s no way he’s going to sit around and watch Eren do all the work.

They walked side by side on the sidewalk that was really too small for them, but Levi was determined to keep step. “Am I going to meet Mikasa?” Levi could sense that Eren visibly tensed at the question. Levi had told Eren before that they were related, distantly. That Levi’s mother’s cousin’s first husband had gotten her knocked up before she could properly raise a child, and that’s how Mikasa came to be with them.

It all gets very confusing in Eren’s head, but if he’s painting the picture of the Ackerman family tree correctly, then that would make Levi Mikasa’s second cousin. Although that was figured out by spending three hours with a piece of paper and a couple colored pencils, so he wouldn’t call the information reliable. Levi didn’t even seem to know the details about where they were at on the family tree, and he didn’t seem to care.

But the question still stands: would Mikasa want to see him? Mikasa hardly ever came out of her room unless it was to get something to eat and go to school. Other than that, if she was home then she was in her room. Eren hardly saw her anymore. If he passed by her in the hallways of the high school and waved then Mikasa would do one of two things. Pretend he didn’t exist or shoot him a glare. Eventually, Eren learned to stop waving. He didn’t even notice if she walked by him anymore. He didn’t care.

Yet, Eren knew that Levi wanted to meet his cousin, learn something new about his family, so he couldn’t just outright tell him no. Instead, he said, “Maybe,” in the hopes that Mikasa was feeling at least a little bit social today. They walked the rest of the way to Eren’s house in silence, Levi quietly excited by his side.

When he opened the door, the smell of stale cigarette smoke and sickness assaulted his nose like a plague. He’d gotten used to it, so it never made him flinch anymore. Levi, on the other hand, couldn’t help but scrunch his face up at the scent. Eren realized that he was having trouble discerning if it was from the smell of his tics.

“Follow me.” Eren made a beeline for the kitchen, darting in and out cupboards, setting bowls and spoons on the counter so fast that Levi doesn’t have time to blink before he’s got the chicken in the sink, thawing. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

The tone in which Eren spoke leaves no room for Levi to argue. Eren ran around the house, stopping by his mother’s room first. The wall of smoke that hit him when he opened the door was sure to suffocate him, but he just held his breath as he checked on his mother. Sleeping, like always.

He quietly shuts the door again, turning and running upstairs to Mikasa’s room instead. He could hear her chattering on the phone from outside the door, and he was about to leave her to it until he remembered who was downstairs, asking for her. Hesitantly, like a rabbit getting ready to sprint, he knocked on the door.

Mikasa’s chattering stopped, and he could hear her spit out a, “What?”

“It’s me,” Eren said quietly, resting his head on the wooden door. He missed talking to Mikasa. He missed sitting down at the dinner table and laughing at each other, with each other. He missed the days he could go in the backyard and throw around a football with her. He missed the way she would tackle him to the ground, rubbing a fist in his scalp and being a typical older sister. Now, he never saw her anymore, and it broke his heart.

“What do you want, Eren?”

“I have a friend downstairs, and I’d like you to meet him.” There was some rustling around the room, and Eren’s heart swelled with hope.

There was a small, “I’ll call you back later,” and footsteps making their way to the door, where Eren was standing. The door opened with a whine, showing it’s disuse with distaste. Mikasa was still wearing the clothes she wore to school, her pencil still trapped behind her ear, her glasses on crooked from where she had been reading over her notes. “Is it Levi?”

The one question Eren knew she would ask, the one question he dreaded answering. “Yes,” he replied, a small notch in his throat. Mikasa looked past him, down the hallway, like she was trying to see the boy in the kitchen from her spot at the top of the stairs.

“He’s staying for dinner?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll eat in my room.” And with that the door was slammed loudly in Eren’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to take this time to thank everyone for leaving comments, asking questions, and encouraging me to keep going. This story means a lot to me since my cousin was diagnosed with Tourette's and I realized that not many people know about it. And while that's not what this story is about, it plays a big part in it. The action or main conflict will show up in this arc of the story, and I want to let everyone know that there will be happy ending. Don't worry!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Audition Day

Walking Levi home after dinner wasn’t the best thing that Eren’s done in his life. Levi was most obviously sulking, and Eren couldn’t find a way to make it hurt any less. Mikasa had kept her word about eating in her room, only coming downstairs to grab her plate. She didn’t even look at them, didn’t acknowledge them in any way.

Eren had chased after her, bent on telling her off, but when she spun around to glare at him, the only words he could find were, “I’m staying after school tomorrow, so I’ll need you to take care of mom until I get home.” She hadn’t replied, just nodded solemnly and walked up the stairs. Eren was angry, of course, but there was nothing he could do about what his sister did, nothing he could do to change her mind or her attitude.

Levi had helped him through dinner in silence, and Eren debated starting up a conversation, but just one look at Levi, and Eren could tell that the other didn’t want to talk. His body caved into himself, shutting him off from everyone, even Eren. It made Eren sick. He wanted to scream at his sister, tell her what she’d done, make her look at what her actions had done to his friend.

He felt responsible more than anything. He didn’t know if bringing Levi here had made him feel better or worse. The downcast look made it hard to tell. When he didn’t even look at Eren was when said boy had trouble knowing what the other was thinking. It made everything a bit darker, a bit more blue. It made Eren want to crawl back into his mind, separate himself from his body, his heart. He didn’t want to see Levi not looking at him, not talking to him or communicating with him in any way. It hurt somewhere in his chest, and it was just so _tempting_ to snuggle into that deep place in his head.

Something held him back, however, made it impossible to go anywhere. He was trapped inside his own self, in a different way than before. His mind was tethered to his body in that moment, unable to go anywhere, even though Eren wished so desperately that he could. He didn’t know what was holding him here, in the present, but he didn’t like it. He’d prided himself in going wherever he wanted when he wanted to go, but now, he found it impossible.

And when they were washing up dishes, grabbing their coats to walk back out into the cold, and lacing up their boots, Eren found that he _still_ couldn’t leave. He couldn’t go to that perfect palace; he was trapped.

So walking Levi back to his house in silence was a new kind of torture that Eren hadn’t experienced before now. It was icy, hostile, cold. Levi was still upset, so he didn’t notice the silent torment that Eren was going through. Even if he did notice and ask what was wrong, Eren didn’t think he could explain it to him without sounding completely crazy. He sounded crazy himself, if he’s being honest, but he never thought long enough about it to really make that decision.

They arrived at Levi’s house, darkness coating the street like a blanket. The street lamps hadn’t come on yet, and there was nothing to light their way. It was only luck that they knew the path by heart. The driveway to the house was empty, and Eren’s heart plummeted further in his chest. He wanted to run a hand through his hair, rip it out until he saw blood, but he kept his fists by his sides by sheer force of will.

He handed Levi’s backpack to him, and he shouldered it in silence. “Thank you for dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

That seemed to be the end of it, and Levi still won’t look at him. In a rush of pure impulsiveness, Eren grabbed Levi’s wrist, not sure what he was going to say but knowing that he needed to say _something._ “Levi-” Levi’s gaze turned up, eyes narrowed, wrist twitching out of Eren’s grip. He yanked it back, holding it to his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he spit. “I’m not upset with _you._ I’m just… upset. I need to go inside.” Eren nodded, unable to find the words to express that he still felt bad, but understanding that Levi didn’t blame him. There was a certain word for it, a word that tasted bitter on his tongue and felt cancerous in his mind. A word that didn’t make sense to anyone but him.

_Responsible._

As he watched Levi walk away, there’s not another word that described this feeling more. He felt responsible for the way Mikasa acted, for the way Levi was feeling, for burning the chicken at dinner. His mother wouldn’t eat. His sister wouldn’t talk. His only friend wouldn’t look at him, and it was all his fault. If he could just be better, stronger, un-freakish like then maybe he would be going to the dance with Annie Leonhardt and not standing outside of Levi’s house, close to tears.

He ran a hand through his hair again before turning on his feet, walking back the way he’d come. It would take him about fifteen minutes to get home, so he figured a couple more minutes wouldn’t hurt. He changed the direction of his feet, walking instead to the park a couple blocks from the house.

The playground at the park was old and abandoned, forgotten like so many things in this godforsaken town. No one ever went there anymore on the account that a rumor spread that a little kid had died there. Eren knew the truth, and he could assure anyone who asked that no one had died there. He didn’t even think that a fly had died there. It was just a town with nothing better to do then gossip.

He always sat on the third swing from the left; it was the tallest. And he realized that he and this little playground had more in common than one might’ve thought. They were both the subject of ridicule at one point. The only thing that was different was people had forgotten all about the rumor of this park, and they forgot to remember the playground itself.

And that’s where Eren found solace. In a couple years, everyone will forget to remember him, too. Mikasa, Levi, the bullies that tormented him every day of his life. Everyone will forget, and Eren will finally find peace.

From  _ “My Name is Ackerman”  _ pg. 250

“From all the letters I’ve received, telling me that it was _my_ fault for what happened that night, I just want to say that yes, I strongly agree. I did have a part to play in all of this. I was eighteen years old at the time. Young enough to deny it at the time and old enough to still feel guilty. I understand that. During my junior and senior year of high school, I was distanced from my brother. Eren would always say hi to me in the halls, and I would always ignore him. I was his sister, but I didn’t get caught up in the rumors somehow. I wasn’t a part of it, and back then I knew I didn’t want to be. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that I was totally wrong. I think about what I could’ve done differently, how I could’ve protected him in some way, how I could’ve somehow, indirectly, prevented this from happening.

When I went away to college that completely changed. I started talking to Eren again, starting treating him how an older sister _should._ But it was too late by then. Eren was already gone. Someone else had taken my brother’s place, and I knew that I would never get him back.

I realized this one night in my dorm room. He called me, telling me that he was going to a football game. He sounded pretty happy, normal. I could hear Levi laughing in the background, something playing on the TV probably. Levi always liked to watch _Mickey Mouse._

I don’t really know what I was thinking. I just knew that it was a Friday, and I didn’t have any Saturday classes. I knew that I was only thirty minutes outside of Shiganshina and that I wanted to see my brother.

I hopped into my car with nothing more than a box of band-aids and my pepper spray, thinking that I wouldn’t have to use either, but knowing Eren, I should’ve known that I’d be using both.

Thursday started out like any other day. He met Levi at the corner, and they walked to school. Eren had brought his copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird,_ and they read the first chapter. Levi seemed to be in higher spirits after Eren reminded him of the auditions that were after school. All throughout History class, Levi was ticcing, whistling and sometimes he’d clap his hands. A new tic that seemed to have developed over night. He was sent out of the class three times. The third, Levi decided to just stay out in the hall, waiting for Eren to bring him his things.

Said boy just knew that Levi was excited or nervous. He hadn’t really figured it out yet. Levi didn’t even bother going to the cafeteria for lunch, knowing that he would get more than his daily dose of side eye. So Eren followed him into the library, munching on an apple. They sat down on the old couch that had questionable stains in it, and they got through another chapter of the book. At this rate, they’d be done by Thanksgiving which was three weeks away.

It seemed like the day dragged on forever, Levi skipping every single class because he knew he’d just get kicked out, and Eren was left alone to face the day all on his own. He didn’t mind it that much, keeping himself busy with thinking about the auditions. He had no idea how many people would show up, what Levi was up against.

Because in the end, Eren was just there for moral support. He didn’t have to worry about what he was going to sing or when the cast list was going to be posted. He honestly had no clue what Levi was going through right now, but from the way Levi was acting, he had a vague guess. Assumption, really.

And as the final bell rang, Eren bolted out of the French room to run across the school to the auditorium. He was proud to say that he made it down two flights of stairs, across four hallways, and inside the auditorium in thirty seconds flat. He stopped counting the number of people he’d slammed into when he got into double digits.

The auditorium wasn’t packed, per se, but half of seats were filled up. About fifty students had showed up, which was a lot more than what Eren was expecting. There were about four hundred students in this school, so that was like more than twelve percent. Not that remarkable of a percentage, but higher than what Eren was expecting.

He looked around, trying to find the mop of black hair that would direct him to Levi. Looking out of the corner of his eye, he spotted him sitting in the back of the auditorium, hands clutched tightly in his lap. Slowly, Eren made his way to him. His head was bent down, looking at the floor.

“Hey,” Eren said, sitting down beside him, looking at the empty stage. “What’re you doing sitting back here?”

Levi looked at him, his eyes shining with something Eren can’t put a name to. He smiled when Eren sat down. “I… I didn’t want to disturb anyone.” He held up a shaking hand, watching the middle finger and thumb connect at lightning’s pace. Levi was being self-conscious? Usually, Levi doesn’t give a fuck what other people think of him. If anyone was disturbed by his tics, he’d usually tell them to suck a dick or some other crass remark.

“You don’t care what other people think,” Eren voiced, tilting his head like a curious puppy.

“I know, but if I get a part, I’ll have to spend a lot of time with these people. I don’t want to make a bad first impression.” Eren nodded, understanding. It still wasn’t like Levi, but he supposed that nerves had some part to play in this.

The sound of the auditorium door opening and closing made Eren’s head snap up. There was a man standing just inside the doorway, fixing the jacket of his suit. His blond hair was slicked back, but he ran another hand over it just to fix any stray pieces that had flown out of place. His eyes were fixed at the front of the room, so he didn’t see Eren surreptitiously spying on him, picking up on his every move.

Eren didn’t recognize him, had never seen him before, and when you live in a small county like Shiganshina, you tend to at least _recognize_ everyone. But Eren didn’t know this man, and that made him curious. Levi had gone back to looking at his lap, so he didn’t notice that a stranger had just walked into their school like it was nothing.

“Are they going in alphabetical order?” Levi asked, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape. “Because if they are, I-”

“Levi,” Eren cooed, “they don’t care what your last name is. They’re just going to pick up the first resume they see. I doubt it’ll be yours because you’ve been here all day. Yours is probably on the bottom since you were the first person to turn it in.”

Levi seemed to relax, taking a deep breath before sinking further down into his seat.

Eren turned his attention back to the man that was walking down the aisles, toward the table positioned off to the side of the stage. Taking his seat, it didn’t take Eren long to realize that he was here to audition people, along with Mrs. Ral and Mr. Bozado, the drama and music teacher. It only left Eren more confused about who this man was.

Mrs. Ral got up on stage, tapping the microphone a couple times to make sure it was working. Eren saw Levi straighten in his seat, like she was directing the opening announcements to him and only him.

“Good afternoon, everyone!” Mrs. Ral said. There was a couple of mumbled replies, but Mrs. Ral didn’t seem to care. “Alright, you guys seem peppy this morning. Let me just get these announcements out of the way, explain to you a little bit about the auditioning process, and then we can get started. Ya dig?” There was a loud groaning noise rising in unison from every student in the auditorium. Even Eren couldn’t bite it back. “Alright, I won’t do that again.”

Mrs. Ral went on to explain the auditioning process while Mr. Bozado passed out sheet music to one of the songs. Everyone had the same song to sing as well as a self-prepared piece. They would have to sing both. She also explained who the man in the suit was. “This is Mr. Smith. He’s come from Trost to help with our production. Show him the same respect as you would to me and Mr. Bozado.”

“What are you singing, Levi?” Eren turned to find the other boy with his nose buried deep in the sheet of paper. His eyes were swiping back and forth, reading over the music notes at a fast pace.

“Eren, we have a problem,” he said it so quietly, whispering it under his breath like he didn’t really want Eren to hear him.

Eren’s heart dropped as he watched Levi’s head tic from side to side. “W-what is it?” He didn’t think he wanted to learn the answer. The reality of the situation was that Eren could feel Levi’s nervousness, felt it in the pit of his stomach, icy and sick. He could see it in the way Levi’s chest rises and falls very quickly, leaving him shaking in his seat. Could see it in the paper that kept slipping from his fingers.

Levi looked up at him and said, “I don’t know how to read music.”

“Oh, thank fuck.” Eren placed a hand on his chest, trying to get his breathing under control. He didn’t know when he started to heave, but it must’ve have been during the last thirty seconds. At Levi’s confused expression, Eren quickly explained, “I thought you were having a panic-attack or something. You scared me is all.”

Levi glared at him, narrowing his eyes. “I’m about to have a panic attack if I can’t figure out these notes.”

Eren snatched the sheet from his hand, looking the sheet over. _Goodnight, my Someone._ That should be easy to teach Levi. It was only the first couple of measures, so it’s not like he had to teach him the whole song. And Eren thought all of those piano lessons were for nothing. Now he was going to teach his friend how to read music.

He handed it back to Levi, pointing at the top. “Have you heard this song or watched the movie before?” Levi looked down and shook his head, almost ashamed. “That’s okay, I’m gonna teach you, but we have to be quick because I don’t know when they’re going to start the auditions.”

“You know how to read music?” Levi’s eyebrows furrowed and a slight frown appeared on his lips.

“Levi, I’ll tell you about it later, but I need you to repeat after me.” Eren sung the first couple of lines, pausing for Levi to repeat after him.

_Goodnight, my someone,_

_Goodnight, my love._

 

When he didn’t hear Levi start to sing, he looked over to see Levi shaking his head. “Fuck, Eren, drop an octave. I can’t fucking sing that high. Jesus, do you even have balls.” Eren barked out a laugh, nodding and repeating the lyrics, dropping his voice down to the pitch Levi had requested.

And when Levi started to singing, repeating Eren’s words, Eren’s jaw dropped opened. He was so quiet that Eren could barely hear him, but he was just loud enough to show Eren that Levi literally had the voice of an angel. There’s a huge, fat line between a good singing voice and the voice of an angel, and Levi actually skipped over it like it wasn’t a big deal. His voice sounded almost like Christmas? When Eren heard Levi sing, there was a warm feeling in his chest, like a cinnamon candle, and a nostalgia that reminded him of Christmas Eve dinners. There was a twinge of peppermint, sweet and warm, under his tones, making Eren’s head spin.

“Eren, keep singing. I need to learn this.” And just like that Eren snapped out of it, looking down at the paper.

“Right, yeah.”

 

_Sleep tight, my someone._

_Sleep tight, my love._

_Our star is shining its brightest light_

_So goodnight, my love for goodnight_

 

They continued on, repeating the whole song, working on certain parts that Levi had trouble with, but Eren knew, from the moment that Levi started singing, that he would nail this audition. He would crush the competition under the heel of his boot, make everyone question why they even showed up.

Maybe Eren was just biased, maybe Levi was only an above-average singer, maybe he was looking too deep into things. But one thing he knew for certain. Levi had one of the most amazing voices he’d ever heard in his entire life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank QueenQuazii, she's beta'd this for me, and that's really cool because most of my stories have been unbeta'd.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Feedback always appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

That night, Eren found himself back in the park after walking Levi home. He didn’t want to go back to his house yet, knowing that Mikasa will hole back up in her room, and he’d be left alone to take care of his mother like he always was. Sometimes he hated his mother, how she was ill and helpless. Sometimes he hated his father because he left them to deal with this on their own, how he left Eren alone with his mother, with Mikasa, with the bullies he faced every day. He should’ve felt awful about it, found it despicable that he could hate his own parents.

But he didn’t feel bad about it. There was no room left in his heart to feel _bad._ All he wanted to do was leave, and he figured that he shouldn’t be blamed for it because he wasn’t going to follow through.

So, on the third swing, Eren fought down the urges to wallow in self-pity, although he was failing miserably already. He never wanted to go home; he was content to sit in this park until the sun rose over the tree line, and he had to go to school. After school, he would come right back here, and that’s the way his new life would be. Maybe, one day, he wouldn’t even go to school. He’d just sit in this park watching the sun rise and fall for the rest of his life. And for some reason, that didn’t sound so awful. It sounded much better than the life he was currently leading.

But that wasn’t all true, and he knew that. His life had tremendously improved ever since he’d met Levi. Even then, sitting alone in an abandoned park, he couldn’t help but smile when he thought of Levi singing _Blackbird_ at the top of his lungs because “The Beatles are still cool, Eren, shut the fuck up.” Even though Eren knew that the Beatles were most definitely _not_ cool anymore. Then, Levi sang, and he’s never been more inspired to go out and buy a Beatle’s album.

No, Eren’s life wasn’t _all_ pathetic, and he’d found the one thing that would keep him going for at least a little while longer.  It made him wonder: where exactly would he be if Levi had not shown up when he did? The thought made him shudder, his mind refusing to conjure up the gory image.

He knew one thing for certain, however. He couldn’t stay there, in that park, forever. He had to get home before Mikasa burned the house down trying to make toast.

The next day was a lot like the last except there was no pending tryouts over their heads. It was a normal Friday, complete with shitty lunches, _To Kill a Mockingbird,_ and a lot more conversation than Eren was expecting.

“What do you think of _A Study in Scarlet?”_ Levi asked, popping the tab on a can of Pepsi.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of Arthur Conan Doyle,” Eren replied, taking the can out of his hand and setting it to the side. Levi glared at him, but when Eren wouldn’t budge, he growled and sipped at his milk instead. Eren would give the can back eventually, when he knew Levi wouldn’t chug it.

“I’m not a fan,” Levi muttered. “I just thought it would be a little more interesting than…” He takes another swig of low-fat milk, unable to really finish his sentence. Eren understands though.

“You don’t like _To Kill a Mockingbird?”_

Levi sighs dramatically, like Eren just _doesn’t_ understand him at all. “It’s not that I don’t like it. I just don’t know what the hell is going on.”

“Oh.” Eren understands that perfectly. While he was reading it, he’d been having a hard time trying to keep up with story. “But you think you’ll have a better time keeping up with Sherlock Holmes back in Victorian England?”

“Alright,” Levi said, reaching over him and snatching his Pepsi back. “You have a point.” Eren let him have it, knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to drink all of it before the final lunch bells rings. “But there’s something… unique about Sherlock Holmes that you’re not going to find in any of S.E. Hinton’s novels _or_ in Harper Lee’s book.”

“He’s a whole lot sexier than Ponyboy.” Eren doesn’t know why he said it, but if it makes Pepsi come out of Levi Ackerman’s nose the second time, then he’ll be sure to say it again.   

“You can’t just say shit like that!” Levi gasps, trying to cough up the remaining soda that was still in his lungs. Laughing as well as choking, Levi couldn’t seem to get a breath in, but his smile made up for it, leaving Eren feeling like he was at the top of the world.

After lunch, both of them made their way back to the English classroom, shuffling books around in their arms, trying to get everything situated. Their day went on like normal, waltzing through classes, laughing at each other, at other students, not paying the least bit of attention where attention was due, and not turning in their homework on time. 

When they were about to leave for their last class of the day, Levi spoke up. “I’m not going to be meeting you outside by the lamppost today.”

Caught off guard, Eren just laughed, unsure what was to be made of this. Levi always met him outside by the second lamppost to the right of the door. One may call it tradition. They called it routine. It was simple, easy to understand, if not just to them. And now Levi was telling him that he couldn’t today. This might not seem important to anyone else except for Eren.

_Levi_ wasn’t going to meet him in the normal spot. _Levi_ was breaking routine. _Levi,_ the one with _OCD_ was not following normal routine. This meant one of two things. Something was wrong, or Levi had a new tradition in mind.

Both made him severely uncomfortable.

But what was he supposed to do about it? Hold Levi captive? Demand what was going on? All of that seemed a bit excessive, and in the mindset that Levi would tell him if something was wrong, just said, “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Although, Eren wasn’t sure of even that.

Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe the thought of Levi breaking tradition was just as ridiculous to him as locking the front door only once was to Levi. But Eren didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to react to an already solved puzzle. Didn’t know what to see beyond the nonexistent glass.

He walked away from the school alone that evening, still puzzling over what Levi was doing, if not walking home with him.

Halfway home, he decided he wasn’t walking home. The air was colder than it should’ve been at this time, and even now, Eren could smell the snow in the air. Crisp and threatening, it didn’t do much to intimidate Eren into going home. He decided that he would go to the park and wait for it, intent on watching the first flake fall. He reached up to tug his scarf tighter around his neck, but realized with dismay that he’d left it in his locker at school. He wouldn’t be able to get it back until Monday morning.

Sighing, he sat in his swing, watching his breath smoke out from his mouth, wondering if it was possible to convince himself that he was a dragon.

His brain was empty today. Nothing to think about, nothing to do, nowhere to go. He was trapped in his own body, and without Levi, there was nothing to distract him from that fact. He felt the same way twenty-four hours ago, and he was starting to think that this is going to become the norm for him.

He shuffled his frozen fingers into his pockets, trying to get back some feeling in them. That’s when he heard it, the unmistakable sound of footsteps walking along the frozen weeds. In a moment of confusion, Eren looked down at his feet, just to make sure that the sound he heard wasn’t coming from them without his knowledge.

When he was positive that it wasn’t him, he looked up and instantly spotted the silhouette walking toward him from the east. They were too tall to be Levi, and their shoulders were too broad to be Mikasa, Eren tensed up. He didn’t know who this was, didn’t know if they were looking for him specifically or if they were just taking a walk through the park. Eren sat as still as possible, willing himself not to rock back and forth in the swing.

From this distance, Eren could make out the bright glow from the cherry of a cigarette, but even that wasn’t enough to illuminate their face.

Eren could see the exact moment when the stranger realized he was there. There was a falter in his step, hand stuttering when pulling the cancer stick out of his mouth. He seemed just as confused to see Eren there as Eren was him. That answered one of his questions then. Whoever this was, they weren’t seeking him out specifically.

“Hello,” the stranger tried. The interjection sounded more like a question, unsure, hesitant. A hand reaching out to pet a feral dog, but Eren was neither of those things, so it only served to confuse him more.

“Hello,” he replied, trying to keep his voice even. He felt like he should recognize the voice as it was young, and the person probably went to his high school, but Eren didn’t recognize a lot of people, something he tried very hard to accomplish.

“It’s pretty cold out here.” Eren wanted to snort at the most obvious statement he’s heard in a while. Also, blatant attempts at small talk have never been in Eren’s repertoire.

“Yes.” The stranger dropped his cigarette, only to pull out a pack and light another one. When the lighter ignited in his hand, Eren finally got a good glimpse at his face, and everything seemed to fall right into perspective.

Jean Kirstein wasn’t particularly a handsome fellow with his dual-colored hair and bad attitude. His nose was too narrow. His eyebrows were too dramatic, and his chin was too pointy. His cheekbones were sharp, and his eyes were wide, and when all of these things came together, it shouldn’t be handsome. In that assumption, Eren just presumed that Jean Kirstein would have a problem getting laid.

_However._

In the dim light of the abandoned park with nothing lighting up his face other than the flame of an old lighter, Jean Kirstein wasn’t that bad looking after all. But that didn’t stop the pang of dread from rushing through his chest. Jean was the Tight End for Shiganshina High School football team, and that meant that it didn’t matter what Eren thought of him, Jean would still ignore him in school every day.

“What are you doing here, Kirstein?” Eren voiced, trying to keep his hands clenched in fists in his pocket.

“I… was out.” Jean’s voice sounded even more uncertain. He still hadn’t figured out who Eren was, and with any luck, he would probably keep it that way. He didn’t want Jean to figure out who he was, and while he doubted that Jean wouldn’t jump him without any of his senior friends, he knew that the park would no longer be a safe place for him to escape.

But – when Jean suddenly held out his lighter in Eren’s direction – no dice. “Holy shit… Yeager?” Eren sighed and got out of the swing, deciding that going home was the best option before something happened. Eren took a look around, trying to memorize the park like he hadn’t before, knowing that he might never see it again.      

And while he did this, he denied that he was melodramatic in any way.

“Wait, where are you going?” Jean, as pleasantly bright as he was, noticed that he was leaving. However, he seemed genuinely surprised by this, not just mocking.

“Home.” Eren wasn’t in the mood to divulge him in games if, by some chance, that’s what he was after.

Jean only huffed and plopped down in the swing beside the one Eren was just in. “You know, I’m not going to hurt you.” Eren tensed, his back turned slightly away from the smoking boy. He knew Jean was telling the truth, but that didn’t stop the rush of anger that washed over him. Jean has never hurt him before, never been the one to deal out Eren’s torment, never been the one to throw a punch.

_But._

That didn’t stop Jean from sitting behind his friends, laughing with them, pointing. Dealing out new torture in the form of rumors spread around the school. Teaching him that he didn’t have to be physically injured to have scars. Jean might not have been physically responsible, but he was responsible all the same.

“Yeah, I know.” Eren said, a small smile making its way on his face. He turned around and looked at the boy on the swings. “You got an extra fag you can spare?”

“Who calls them fags anymore?” Jean mumbled but brought out his pack of Camels all the same, handing it and the lighter over to Eren.

“Who smokes menthols anymore?” Eren retorted lighting up. He hadn’t had a cigarette in a while, and he missed it. He missed the nicotine stains on his index finger and the way the smoke made his head feel fuzzy. Ever since his mother had gotten sick, he hasn’t felt the need to smoke, hasn’t wanted it until now.

A few minutes passed with the two of them sitting on the swings, Eren trying to think about anything but ridicule, and Jean dragging quietly beside him.

Jean breaks the awkward silence first. “Seriously, man, what’s up with your friend.”

Eren snorts, inhaling smoke the wrong way and coughing. “It’s a nervous system disorder. He can’t help it, so I would appreciate it if you and your friends would back off.”

Jean held up his hands, but that didn’t stop the rush of anger that had been stewing in Eren’s gut. “I’ll tell the boys to back off, but I don’t know if they’re going to listen to me or not.” Eren’s eyes widened a little. _Did Jean Kirstein just say that he would stick up for him? Surely not._ But there was no harsh laughter, no _‘Man, I got you good.’_ Just Jean dragging on his cigarette.

_Maybe,_ Eren thought, knowing that this road he was about to go down was a dangerous one, _Maybe this is the beginning of something good._

How wrong he was.

 

 

From  _ “Cancelling Homecoming”  _ pg. 46

“Mikasa Ackerman tells her side of the story in her book, _“My Name is Ackerman”_ which came out in 1992. She referred to her book when I asked for an exclusive interview, and upon reading it, I realized something. She has no idea what happened either, just like the rest of us.” 


	7. Chapter 7

            Eren stood outside under the second streetlamp by the school. The wind was colder than ever, making his body shiver and shake, making goosebumps raise on his arms. His shoulders were hunched in on himself, and even though he had his hood up, he could still feel the cold hand of the fall air wrapping around the back of his neck. He didn’t care. There was something far colder in his chest, climbing up behind his heart, burrowing in his ribs.

            The last school bell rang three hours ago, and he’s been standing in the same spot, alone. His fingers have gone numb, even shoved in his pockets as they were. He couldn’t feel his toes, and he didn’t want to think about how blue his nose was getting. His cheeks were damn near frozen, and he’d shut is eyes an hour ago in the hope that they wouldn’t freeze and fall out of his head, and shatter on the sidewalk.

            There was no Levi. Not even a word from him. He’d seen him walk out of class, wave, smile. And then he was gone. Eren was left to wonder if something was wrong, if there was something he’d missed because Levi obviously wasn’t here. He’d been so excited to hear that Levi had gotten a part. Which part, Eren didn’t know. He was planning on asking today after school, but now he couldn’t. He didn’t know if there was something wrong, or if Levi, in the haze of his excitement forgot about him.    

            Because Eren knew that the Drama Department always took the new Cast on a special celebratory dinner. Levi had forgotten to tell him, but that didn’t stop Eren from knowing. And it _hurt._ For some reason, Eren couldn’t stop the way his heart gave a twang of pain every time he thought too long about it. It didn’t make any sense for him to be hurt over this, but _dammit,_ he was. He shouldn’t have let himself get so attached, so _dependent_ on Levi because he _knew_ this would happen. He knew the boy would make other friends and forget all about him. He knew that this wasn’t the end yet, but it was the beginning of the end. Something he pushed out of his brain when he should’ve been preparing for it.

            He was probably overreacting, but he didn’t care. Levi was forgetting him slowly, and he didn’t care if he was overreacting. He wanted to feel this, had missed the feeling of loneliness in his chest, had longed for it to return. Because he knew what came after, had felt it more than anyone his age could say they had. He knew the feeling of anger like an old friend, welcomed it, invited into his system with open arms. He hung onto it, let it simmer at the bottom of his throat, above his nose, behind his eyes.

            Eyes that flew open just in time to see all seven street lamps blow their bulbs, showering the road with sparks, leaving him total darkness. Momentarily distracted from his pity party, Eren shuddered as he realized just how cold it was. Blowing the lights off as nothing more than broken fuse, Eren started stalking back to his home, impervious to the phenomena that had happened in front of him.

 

 

From _“The Street Lamp Incident: A Blog by C.S.”_

            “Some people, and by people, I mean everyone, don’t like to think of the _Street Lamp Incident_ as anything more than a scary story, an awful game of telephone blown out of proportion, but I have a different theory. I think this was just the start of the rollercoaster that is Eren Yeager’s life. While I’m not opposed to understanding where the historians and conspiracy theorists get off in assuming that all of this is nothing but some awkward bedtime story, I have my own opinions.

            There isn’t a reason why it happened, but I did some digging and on the morning of October 18th, 1974, there was a big electrical fuck up. I don’t know if there’s a right word for it, but basically all the power in the county went out. School was cancelled that next day, and the power was back up in twenty-four hours tops.

            I don’t think this was just a coincidence. By this point, Levi and Eren had been friends for a month and a half, and the power in a whole _county_ doesn’t just go out like that. So, my theory is that something happened between Levi and Eren. Maybe they had a fight, and maybe Eren was upset about it. It’s not surprising when you think of it in the grand scheme of what Eren can do. This power outage just doesn’t _happen._ I mean, there was not a storm. There wasn’t any falling trees. The power seemed to just short-circuit. _For no fucking reason._ I’ve done a lot of research- Okay, maybe I just googled a little bit and got confused by the big words, _but_ for something as big as the whole county to lose power takes a _lot._

            So, my theory is that Eren was the cause of it. It isn’t that big of a stretch. I mean seriously, the guy did a lot worse. I just don’t know why more people aren’t talking about it.”

 

 

Eren didn’t get any sleep that night, with the chill that seemed to follow him home, crawl into bed with him and curl up on top of his chest. With the power outage, there was no heat to keep him warm. The only thing he had was the ratty blanket as he stared at the ceiling. There wasn’t even his anger to keep him warm anymore. He’d had a taste of that back in front of the school, and after the lights went out, it seemed to take the ember of anger along with it, snuffed out like the cherry of a cigarette hitting an ashtray.

            He could go for a smoke right now, seeing as sleep was evading him. He stepped out of the house, knowing that there was no way he could get any colder. The wind had dropped out, blowing the clouds with it. The night was clear, and as Eren wrapped the blanket tighter around him, lighting a cigarette, he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen tomorrow. Would he be okay again? Would he be back to how he was the day before? Today being a minor fluke in the grand scheme of things. Would he meet Levi on the corner? Would he smile and wave? Would he even bother? All of these questions were floating around in his head, and he couldn’t answer a single one. It’s like his brain was fried with the emotions of the day, and he couldn’t get it to think straight, even if he wanted to. And right now, he wanted anything but to think straight. A win-win situation, if you will.

            Although, all of his questions wouldn’t have to be answered because there was a familiar silhouette walking toward him from across the street. Eren didn’t need the lights to know that it was Levi. He could hear the clapping from half a football field away. Quickly, he stubbed the fag out with his heel, standing up so as not to look guilty, even though he was. If he had any connections to his feelings, any attachment to reality, Eren was sure all he’d be feeling was anger and sadness. Not because Levi had ditched him, but because of the fact that it had completely blind-sided Eren. He was never told, and while Levi didn’t have to tell him anything if he didn’t want to, it still would’ve been nice to be given a heads up, a warning that he would be waiting outside the high school for over three hours for a boy that would never come.

            He didn’t notice Levi again until he was standing right in front of him. “Hey,” the shorter hiccupped out in greeting, and Eren didn’t have time to ponder how innocent he sounded. He didn’t look at the way his eyes were almost shining, the way his face held his smile with such sincerity. Something switched in Eren’s head, a wire connecting in the right place, jump starting his anger and his hurt like the press of a button.

            “Why are you here?” He knew he shouldn’t. He knew what he was about to do was the wrong way to go about things, but he was _angry,_ and he didn’t care. He knew he should’ve bottled everything up, take it out on a wall later if that’s what would make him feel better, but he couldn’t just keep everything inside right now. He couldn’t just push it to the side and invite the other boy in for hot chocolate, that’s not the way his brain works.

            The wind picked up.

            There was a flicker of hurt behind Levi’s eyes, and all Eren could think was _‘good.’_ The smile that was so delicate and beautiful before was now uneasy and confused, Levi’s eyebrows furrowing, making his forehead wrinkle. His head twitched to the side.

            “What do you mean? I came here to see you.” Levi’s voice might as well as light a fire underneath Eren who was already about to have steam come out of his ears. His face was flushed with anger, and the cold that Eren had so desperately tried to get away from was nowhere to be found now. Even as the wind rattled the house behind them, all Eren could hear was the blood rushing in his ears and the sound of his heart hammering against his chest.

            “Why didn’t you tell me that you weren’t going to be by the lamp post today?” His voice was guttural, pencil shavings hitting the ground, angry and cold. Hostile and unaccepting of any answer Levi was about to give.

            “I didn’t have time to tell you. The Drama Kids whisked me away as soon as last period started. Said something about a di- _hic-_ nner.” When Levi hiccupped, it completely deflated Eren, draining his anger out, letting his fist unclench, letting the cold seep back into his bones. Levi, who followed routine so closely, was probably just as upset as Eren was about this. Eren was still hurt, but he finally realized that yelling at his friend wasn’t going to solve anything for either of them. Instead of saying anything, Eren just wrapped his arms around the other boy, clinging to the back of his jacket.

            The wind dropped once more.

            All traces of anger, all lingering senses of fury vanished as his nails scraped against Levi’s windbreaker. There was still a coldness in his bones, and the tears that he refused to shed earlier were leaking down his cheeks. “I was waiting.” Eren’s voice broke as he whispered the words in the crook of Levi’s neck. He could feel Levi’s hands come to wrap around his waist, and in that moment, Eren knew that he wouldn’t have to make all the choices. He could leave them in someone else’s hands. At least for right now.

            Because despite what he’d been thinking earlier. There is more than one way to melt away the dread that loneliness brings with it. It doesn’t have to be anger. It doesn’t have to be fury. It can simply be a hug in front of a house that no one cares about. It can be the swoosh of a windbreaker as the hug breaks and leads him in the house. It can be the way Eren lights a fire in the fireplace, and warms milk in a saucepan. It can be the way the mugs of hot chocolate clink together as they toast to an apology. A new start. A new day. Eren knew that he wouldn’t be left just yet, that Levi would stick around for just a little bit longer. And right now, that was more than enough for Eren.

            The next day rolled in, and it brought no power and therefor, no school. Eren had been meaning to take Levi to his park for a while now, but never really had the chance. That day seemed perfect. He could just sit down and _talk_ to Levi, not having to worry about the lunch bell ringing or notes to take or arriving at home too soon. Today seemed like a make-up day for all the time that they’d lost. When Eren sat down on the swing, Levi took a seat to the left, joking about how it was the shortest.

            “So, you come here often?”

            “Are you hitting on me, Mr. Ackerman?” Eren pretended to sound affronted, but Levi playfully kicked him as best he could from his spot on the swing.

            “No, asshole, I’m legitimately asking if you come here often.” There was a smooth quality to Levi’s words today. It sounded like he wasn’t trying to _not_ tic. He just let it go, and that helped in its own way. Levi didn’t care if Eren saw, so he found no reason to try and stay still. He could kick his feet out, roll his eyes back, clap, and Eren wouldn’t so much as bat an eyelash. He could be himself, and that helped in ways that no one could know.

            “Yeah, I come here pretty often. When the house gets too small, or my brain gets too crowded, I come out here to think. It’s quite nice, seeing as no one else wants to use it.” Eren smiled, feeling his cheeks ache with a pain that was welcome, was almost becoming familiar to him.

            “That’s a shame. It’s a nice park.” Levi clicked his tongue as his boot shoved a rock out of the way. Eren watched on, wondering if he should tell Levi why there was no one here anymore.

            “Rumor has it that the park is haunted-“

            “Say no more, Eren. I don’t care.” Levi grimaced, his knuckles going white from where he was gripping the chain too hard. “This town and it’s rumors, huh? It’s like they have nothing better to do.”

            “Small county folks _don’t_ have anything better to do. This is their source of entertainment. If I wasn’t such a big hit, I might actually enjoy it too.” There wasn’t an ounce of venom in Eren’s words because they were true. Eren had accepted that that’s what people do for kicks. Make up stories about other people’s lives to make their own less boring. Ironic in a way that was idiotic.

            “Well, it’s stupid.”

            “My thoughts exactly,” Eren replied laughing. He’d stopped being angry about it months ago. There was nothing he could do about it, so it wasn’t worth his anger. He was about to bring up the _Music Man,_ wondering what part Levi got, when there was a small snap behind them. When Eren turned around, all of the color drained from his face, and his first instinct was to run.

            A familiar group of seniors were on their way over, with none other than Jean Kirstein behind them.


	8. Chapter 8

There were five of them, sans Jean, making their way across the playground toward them, shuffling one foot in front of the other. There were a million possibilities running through Eren’s brain, and yet he could not put his finger on any of them. There were a million paths to travel down, a million choices that he could make.

            And he chose the one that made the least sense. He placed a hand on Levi’s arm, a silent gesture to stay put, and Levi nodded, understanding. Eren stood. He didn’t want to fight today, and he didn’t want this to escalate into anything more than a battle of words. However, he knew their fists better than his own at this point. He’d felt the scrape of them across his cheek too many times to count. He’d felt their class rings bruise his eyes, break his nose, bust his lip. He knew that a simple yelling match would be a dream come true.

            So he didn’t have much hope.

            “Yeager!” One of them shouted, and Eren knew he couldn’t just ignore them. He was staring right at them, watching as they headed toward them with the ominous feeling of a storm and yet the subtlety of a rampaging bull. He found he couldn’t move, rooted to the spot in front of Levi. Maybe they’d forget about the other boy, focus more on him and leave Levi to his own devices.

            Another wish in which he hadn’t had much hope. Levi, in his small number of days being here, had become a target in almost record time. A feat Eren had to give him credit for.

            The band of bullies was almost upon them, and still Eren didn’t know what to do. He was outmatched, and he’d been outmatched before, but this time felt different. It felt more dangerous, and maybe it was because Levi was still sitting in the swing behind him. Maybe it had to do with the way the breeze picked up and sent shivers down his spine. It was foreboding, telling him it was different and that his choices were wrong.

            Eren stood still, and everything round him was starting to slow down. His brain running so fast that he could not think. They were in front of him.

            He doesn’t know who threw the first punch, only that he was on the ground, his feet knocked out from under him. His hair covering his eyes, obscuring his vision. He felt someone kick his still-sore stomach, felt hands wrap around the collar of his shirt, hoisting him up only to throw him back down again. He felt his head hit the mulch, not hard enough to make his head spin but still enough to make him nauseous.

            His cheek was pressed against the ground, and his heart was racing behind his ribs. His eyes stung with tears, and yet, he could feel no pain. There was no sting, just pressure. They didn’t kick him again, at least. Why weren’t they kicking him? There was no school bell to lure them away. There was no teacher to break it up. There wasn’t anything that would make them stop. Except-

            “Eren!” Levi’s voice was the only thing he could hear, going through one ear and burrowing down into his stomach. Dread wrapped itself around his heart like a vice, gripping and pulling and tugging until he was off the ground in an instant.

            They’d _grabbed_ him, was pulling him off the swing just as Eren was standing. They’d _touched_ him, one of them rearing their hands back like he was going to hit him. Eren’s vision blurred with anger and tears. He could feel his eyes sting, and his face was heating up with anger. There was red bleeding in from the corner of his vision, painting everything maroon.

            _Don’t touch him!_ A voice screamed inside his head. _Don’t fucking touch him!_

            The wind dropped out.

            Eren’s fist flew through the air before he even knew what was happening, landing squarely on one of their cheeks. He threw another one and another, hitting whatever was unfortunate enough to be in his way. He saw blood, but he couldn’t tell if it was his or someone else’s. He didn’t care. Right then, the only thing Eren cared about was getting to Levi. If that meant beating up the shitheads who hurt him then so be it. One of them dodged, ran the other way before Eren could take another swing. One of them dropped. The rest of them scatted. And just like that it was over.

            They were _afraid._

“Fucking-” Eren didn’t know what he was going to say. He didn’t know what else could be said. His knuckles were scraped. His head was pounding, and he could hear the rush of blood behind his ears. His face hurt, but everything else was just a blur. He scanned the park watching as the crew dispatched.

            His eyes landed on a certain asshole who was lighting the cigarette between his lips. It wasn’t lost on Eren that he’d been standing there the whole time, unmoving and uncaring about the outcome. It made his blood boil even more. Eren expected him to smile and wave, but Jean didn’t do that. He just turned around and walked away, like he had something better to do.

            Eren didn’t give him much thought after that, anger and adrenaline still pumping through his blood, his eyes not focusing on anything, blurred by tears or blood, he couldn’t tell. He knelt down next to where Levi was huddled into himself. His shoulders were shaking violently, but when he lifted his head, his eyes were dry.

            “Are you okay?” Eren found his hand reaching for Levi’s chin, tilting it back and forth, looking him over for cuts or bruises. His pale skin looking unblemished besides for the few pimples. Eren felt himself relax a little.

            “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Levi swiped a thumb across Eren lip, pulling it back to show him that it was stained red. “Jesus, you—you look like shit.”

            The soreness and the pain was starting to sink into his shoulders and his hands. His legs were aching, and he could practically feel his ribs bruising. “Maybe we should get out of here.” He pulled himself up, reaching out his hand to offer it the other boy. Levi reached for it, wrapping his fingers around Eren’s hand, and hauling himself up.

            Levi’s eyes glanced up to meet his, and Eren recalled the first time he ever looked at them. _Really_ looked at them. Screeching tires. His eyes were screeching tires, and his nose was a capitalized i. His cheeks were sharp, and his lips were thin. He was… breath-taking.

            Eren’s eyes squeezed shut as the thought ran through his mind, making pain blossom under his eyebrows. He let go of Levi’s hand a little too quickly, straightened himself, and turned away. He quickly shoved everything from his mind, trying to pretend he hadn’t thought that about his only friend. Levi didn’t seem to notice the way Eren’s hands had started shaking or the fact that the wind had completely dropped out.

 

_From “Cancelling Homecoming,” pg. 73_

_“Jean Kirstein, a senior at the time of the attacks, was suspected to play a major role in the unfolding of events that happened. Whether this is true or not, I could not say. He was seen with Jaeger on multiple occasions, but was also widely known as one of his bullies. This has caused conspiracies as well as confusions._

_When one looks into Kirstein’s past, they will receive no answer or clues. He seemed to have a relatively normal childhood. Both of his parents were in his life. He was a remarkable student with good marks. He was wildly popular, and he seemed he had a bright future. I’ve tried getting into contact with Mr. Kirstein, and after many attempts, he finally answered and refused to talk about what happened the night of the game as it caused him great upset. I asked for an interview under the understanding that we would not be discussing what happened, merely what happened before. He agreed._

_When I inquired about his relationship with Eren Yeager, he said, ‘We were friends. It didn’t start out that way. But we were friends. Son of a bitch was so crazy, it was hard not to notice him.’_

_I asked him what he meant. ‘Yeager was a little wimp before Levi showed up. Was like he had nothing to fight for. But when Ackerman came to town, it was like everything changed. He started pushing back, and that impressed me. Made me realize something, ya know? He’s a person. After that, I just threw in the towel. Spent the rest of my high school career trying to make up for what an ass I’d been. Many people don’t realize that Eren Yeager, despite all his flaws, is still a fucking human being.’”_

Eren was sat at the kitchen table of his home, holding an ice pack to his eye. Mikasa wasn’t home, and his mother was asleep, leaving only Levi to keep him company. He was sitting across him at the table, elbows resting on the table and cheek in hand. His other hand was running across the surface of the table, feeling the scratches like they would give him the answers to all of his questions.

Maybe they would, Eren’s never tried it.

            The room was silent, uninvited tension hanging over them like a cloud. Eren wanted to say something, try and break it like a hammer to a window, but nothing was coming to mind. Did he try and explain? Should he ignore what happened in the park? Does he let it sit and simmer, let the elephant in the room grow more obvious?

            “What part did you get?” The answer was yes, of course.

            Levi’s head tilted up slowly, eyes narrowing, but he answered, “I got one of the quartet member.” He seems indifferent to the outcome, neither happy nor sad. Eren’s eyes widen. _What the hell? They didn’t give him Harold Hill, the Music Man himself?_

            Levi was too good to be in the Quartet. The drama department can’t be serious. “I’m just happy to be a part of it,” Levi said, looking back down at the table. “I’m happy I get to sing.” Eren smiled, previous thoughts bleeding into the back of his brain as he looked at the boy in front of him.

            And then Levi addressed the elephant. “Are you just going to let them do this to you?”

            Eren sighed. He had no idea where to start on explaining all of this to Levi. He’s sure he’s heard the stories, the rumors floating around school about his father, but it seemed like the bullies didn’t care about that at this point. Eren was and always has been an easy target, so they just kept coming at him. “I think I scared them off this time.”            

            “Yeah, and you scared them off once before this, but that doesn’t mean that they wont come back.”

            Eren’s eyebrows knitted together, nose scrunching up as he said, “Huh?”

            “You don’t remember?” Levi’s words were careful, like footsteps on glass. They were quiet, and none of that helped Eren’s confusion. He wracked his brain for a time when he stood up to the bullies before, but all he can remember his throwing a punch and coming to in the boy’s bathroom, bloody and aching. He doesn’t remember ever scaring them off.

            “You beat a senior’s ass. You’re telling me you don’t remember that?” Levi was leaning forward, hand reaching out to push away the ice pack and stare at Eren’s face. His eyes were wide, and his mouth was open, trying to find some inconceivable way to believe him.

            Eren only shook his head.

            “You’re fucked, Yeager.” Levi leaned back, crossing his arm over his chest, while Eren put the ice pack back on his black eye.

            “Tell me something I don’t know.”


End file.
